Episode 34 "SOME LIKE IT RED" Written by Luciano Comici and Elizabeth Comici
PROLOGUE FADE IN EXT CHICAGO STREETS - NIGHT We see a TRAIN making one of its trips, a POLICE CAR, SIREN BLARING, a HOOKER NEGOTIATING with a prospective customer. A dark-haired teenager, CELINE, briskly walks the streets. A BIG BAG on her shoulder, CELINE crosses the street and makes her way to an alley. At the end of the alley, we see a PARKED CAR. A young man, AL, leans against the parked car. He lights a cigarette. As CELINE approaches, he drops the cigarette to the ground and steps on it with one foot to snuff it out. He smiles at CELINE as she hands him something from her bag. CELINE: Here. AL removes the wrapping from the object, a candelabra. AL smiles at CELINE. AL: It's nice. It's very nice. Once again you're a regular Bonnie Parker, kid. CELINE: I told you. AL: Yes, you did. CELINE: And I also told you there's more where that came from. AL: Yes, you did. CELINE (smiles): Good. Then this time, I want ... AL suddenly grabs CELINE and slams her against the hood of his car. AL: No, this time I do the telling. Now, I want you to stop yanking my chain. Stop playing games. I want the rest of that stuff ... and I want it tonight. CELINE: Look, I told you it is not that easy ... AL: I don't think you heard me. I said ... CELINE suddenly pulls a gun on him. AL backs off and raises his hands in surrender. AL (laughing): Don't hurt yourself with that. CELINE (in a quaking voice): Don't try and follow me. AL: What, and get shot? Nuh-uh. CELINE begins to back away from him. AL (continued): But I'll be seeing you again, cookie. I want what you got! CELINE runs away from him, into the night. CUT TO: INT BAR - PRESENT MOMENT DIEFENBAKER, RAY, and FRASER enter. They approach the bar. FRASER: I can't thank you enough, Ray. RAY: Well, you're right about that! So, why is Thatcher so hot to get this hooch, anyway? FRASER: Well, the Superintendent General is due in from Moose Jaw today, and apparently, he's quite partial to it. The Inspector Thatcher is nothing if not gracious. RAY: Well, next time, try and tell me sooner, okay? Yo, Murph! A middle-aged man, KEVIN MURPHY, comes up from behind the bar. He turns and faces RAY and FRASER. KEVIN MURPHY (with an Irish accent): Ray! Good to see you, lad! RAY: I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine. Benny Fraser, Kevin Murphy. MURPHY: Pleasure. FRASER: Likewise. MURPHY: He told me you were in a jam. I'd like to help out. FRASER: I very much appreciate that, sir. RAY (turns to FRASER): Murph's the Man, Fraser. He collects hooch like my sister collects losers. (pauses, then smiles) You know what his nickname is? FRASER: I haven't a clue. RAY: The Whiskey King of the Windy City. Isn't that great? FRASER (rolls his eyes upward, analyzing what RAY had just said): Now, see, Ray, I find that difficult to believe; in that names generally tend to be a bit shorter: Whiskey King, or ... Windy Guy ... RAY (slightly annoyed): Yeah? Well, that's his nickname, alright? The Whiskey King of the Windy City. You ask anybody. FRASER turns to a bald-headed GUY to his right. FRASER: Excuse me, sir. What is the bartender's nickname? GUY # 1: Murph. RAY shakes his head, smiles, as if in embarrassment and disbelief. MURPH reappears, carrying a bottle. MURPHY: There you are, boys - me last bottle of Glendorlan Scotch Whiskey. There's teardrops of the angel, me own granddad used to call it. This point might be the last bottle in the city. It's a shame to part with it. RAY: Yeah, but five hundred American ought to dull the pain, eh, Murph? MURPHY: That it might Ray, that it might. (laughs) (to FRASER, OS): Show me the color o' your money, she's all yours. A blond, attractive woman, ANNIE MCCRAE, dressed conservatively in blue enters the bar. RAY sees her, walks up to her. RAY: Annie? Annie McCrae? ANNIE: Ray ... Ray Vecchio! RAY: Yeah! ANNIE: Hi. RAY: Hi ... You, uh ... you look (begins to scratch his cheek) uh .. are you ... are you a ...? ANNIE: A nun. RAY: You're a nun! (laughs nervously) You're a nun. ANNIE: You're surprised (laughs). RAY: Yeah, I'm surprised. How long has it been, uh ... (pauses) You been great? ANNIE: I ... yeah. (pauses) Actually, Ray, I'm in a little bit of a hurry. I'm trying to find this girl. ANNIE shows Ray a photograph of TWO GIRLS - one on the left with long, dark hair, right next to CELINE. ANNIE (continued): Does she look familiar? Her name's Celine. She's the one on the right. RAY (hands the photo back to ANNIE): Well, she looks a little young to be making the bar scene. ANNIE: She is, but uh, false ID's are easy to come by these days. I usually find her in one of these places on Rush Street. RAY: Well, if you want, I could put some manpower on it. ANNIE: What do you mean? RAY: Well, believe it or not, I'm a cop. ANNIE (suddenly withdraws): Oh, uh, no, no. That's fine. Thanks, Ray. Good to see you. ANNIE begins to walk away from RAY. RAY follows her. RAY: Annie. Hey, Annie ... RAY reaches out to hold ANNIE by the arm. ANNIE: Ray ... Suddenly, GUY # 2 stops him. GUY # 2 (holds RAY by the arm): The sister doesn't want to be bothered. As RAY confronts the GUY, ANNIE slips out. RAY: Yeah? Well, so do I. (looks at the GUY's hand) Do you mind letting go of me? RAY begins to follow ANNIE, but again, the GUY stops him. GUY # 2: Did we forget our listening ears? RAY: No, pal. Did you? RAY pushes GUY # 2. DIEFENBAKER WHINES, GUY # 2 slams into FRASER. FRASER, thrown off-guard, lets go of the bottle in his hand and it SHATTERS! RAY stalks off. FRASER, GUY # 2 and other bystanders, look at the shattered remains of the bottle on the ground. FRASER: Oh, dear. MURPHY: Sorry, lad. No refunds. CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO BAR - NIGHT - PRESENT MOMENT RAY searches for ANNIE, but to no avail. FADE OUT END OF PROLOGUE
ACT ONE FADE IN EXT LAKE MICHIGAN - DAY CUT TO: EXT ST. FORTUNATA'S SCHOOL - DAY People are entering the school. ANNIE is seen talking to a couple of young ladies. RAY arrives in his RIV. He steps out of his car and approaches ANNIE. RAY: Annie, excuse me. Annie, do you have a minute? ANNIE (to the ladies): See you girls later. The two ladies walk away. ANNIE: Ray, I'm sorry about last night. RAY: Well, you're sorry ... RAY and ANNIE begin to walk together. RAY (continued): ... I almost got my head bashed in. ANNIE: Yeah. Well, I'm glad you didn't. I just don't want to get the police involved. RAY: Look. Forget the police. This is me, alright? Now, I did a little checking and I found out you're a big shot around here ... ANNIE smiles. RAY (continued): ... I also found out that the girl you're looking for is one of your students. ANNIE: Yes. Yes, and I can find her myself. She's done this before. RAY and ANNIE go up the steps leading to the entrance of the school. RAY stops and faces ANNIE. RAY: Look. Maybe I can help. Will you let me do this for you? ANNIE (pauses): Off the record? RAY: Yeah. Off the record. Now, I'm gonna have to ask some questions. You know, turn over some rocks. ANNIE: No, that's exactly what I don't need! The cops barging in here, upsetting the girls. (pauses) I'll tell you what's going on as long as it stays between us. Okay? RAY: Oh, I don't know if I can do that. ANNIE: Ray! RAY (smiles): Of course - just between you and me. ANNIE: You haven't changed since high school. RAY laughs. ANNIE: Come on in. CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO ALLEY - DAY - MUCH LATER CUT TO: INT RAY's CAR - PRESENT MOMENT RAY and FRASER are in the car. RAY: So this Celine kid turns out to be pretty wild. She likes to run away, and Annie tracks her down. Now, Annie doesn't want to report it because if she does, she's gonna be sent home and home isn't a pretty place. Three stepfathers in the past six years. But this time, there's something different going on. Some of the girls are getting out of hand. Check this out. RAY brings out a gun and hands it to FRASER FRASER begins to inspect the gun. FRASER: Interesting. A Hildebrand Yankee .38. You don't see these very often. RAY: No, that's why I ran the numbers on it. You're never gonna guess who it's registered to. FRASER: Elliot Ness? RAY: How did you know that? FRASER: Well, it's quite simple, Ray. RAY: No. Simple for you is some long drawn-out story from you from your grandmother's library in Run-Amuck-Luk. FRASER: Well, actually, it is quite simple. It's engraved right here: 'E. Ness'. Now, guessing that the 'E' stood for Elliot was just inspiration. RAY: Give me that. You're not supposed to be carrying a gun, anyway. FRASER looks out the window. FRASER: Tuktoyaktuk. RAY: What? FRASER: You said, 'Run-Amuck-Luk'. I assume you're referring to the time my grandmother moved her travelling library to Tuktoyaktuk. RAY: Oh, Tuktoyaktuk, Run-Amuck-Luk, what's the difference? FRASER: Well, about 2,000 kilometers. RAY: Is that necessary? FRASER: Not entirely, no. RAY: Okay. So, the question is, how does a 16-year old Catholic schoolgirl get a hold of the gun owned by the man who brought down Al Capone? That is the question; not whether or not Tuktoyaktuk or Run-Amuck-Luk are 2,000 miles apart. FRASER: Kilometers. And, I have no idea. RAY: Well, neither do I. CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO ALLEY - PRESENT MOMENT The RIV is driving up an alley. RAY (OS): But when Annie told me she found the gun in Celine's room, I knew she was in real trouble. That's why I've been on the phone all morning, beating the bushes for a likely recruit. Annie's going to let me plant a teacher on the inside to get a lead on this Celine girl. RAY steps out of the car; FRASER follows. RAY (continued): The only catch is, it can't be a cop ... RAY closes the DOOR. RAY ( continued): ... and, she's got to be a woman. RAY and FRASER walk toward a mailbox. FRASER: So, have you found someone? RAY: Yeah. Brenda Luisi. She retired from the force last year. RAY slips a large envelope inside the mailbox next to a door. RAY (continued): ... I'm just going to drop these plans for the school off. FRASER sees a POST-IT NOTE stuck to the mailbox. He begins to read it. FRASER: Oh, Ray, this is for you. (pauses) Oh, the poor girl. She's broken her leg. RAY (reads the note): She broke her leg? How could she break her leg? RAY looks at FRASER. RAY (continued): I just spoke to her an hour ago. RAY turns away. RAY: Oh, I can't let Annie down. RAY looks at FRASER. RAY (continued): Okay, look, I've got to have somebody in there first thing in the morning. I'm going to go back to the office and make some calls. Could I drop you off somewhere? FRASER: No, that's alright. I'm uh ... begins to look around and point to his left. I'm going here. RAY returns to his car, while FRASER walks off by himself. CUT TO: INT CHICAGO PD OFFICE - MUCH LATER The SOUND OF HEELS CLICKING AGAINST THE GROUND. LEAN, WELL-FORMED LEGS coming down the stairs leading to Chicago PD's office. We see the back of a woman's head, LONG, RED HAIR CASCADING DOWN HER BACK. We see part of the bright FLORAL SCARF she is wearing. She passes JACK HUEY, who eyes her appreciatively. She meets up with ELAINE, who stops to admire her scarf. ELAINE: Which brand? Nimitz? WOMAN: Sears. ELAINE: Really? It looks fabulous on you. WOMAN: Thank you. CUT TO: EXT/INT WELSH' OFFICE - PRESENT MOMENT WELSH is on the phone. As he sees the woman, he rushes to end the call. WELSH: I'll call ya back. WELSH steps out of his office, carrying a folder. WELSH (to WOMAN): Hello, I'm Lieutenant Welsh. Is there anything I can assist you with? WOMAN: I'm here to see Detective Vecchio. WELSH: His office is right around here. (points left) I'll escort you personally. WOMAN: That really won't be necessary. WOMAN leaves WELSH, walks toward RAY, who is at his desk, on the phone with someone. RAY: Samantha, come on, I'm dying here. Yeah, I had somebody, but she fell through. WOMAN sets her bag (draped in a BLUE JACKET) next to RAY's chair. WOMAN sits, crosses her legs and listens patiently. RAY (continued): Look. It's just for a couple of days. I'll pay you out of my own pocket. RAY looks at WOMAN. RAY (to WOMAN, continued): ... I'll be right with you. Look. Look, Sam, school gave you allergies because somebody was grading you. This time you're gonna be the one doing the grading. (pauses) Thanks for nothing. (puts down the phone, and stands up) Elaine! WOMAN: I'll do the job. RAY looks momentarily at the WOMAN. RAY: I don't even know who you are. WOMAN: Actually, I believe you do. WOMAN turns. It's FRASER! Or shall we say, MISS FRASER! RAY: I'm sorry, I don't. MISS FRASER moves closer. MISS FRASER: Ray. It's me. RAY looks MISS FRASER over. His eyes grow big. RAY (in disbelief): FRASER? FADE OUT END ACT ONE
ACT TWO FADE IN EXT CHICAGO STREETS - DAY We see MISS FRASER and RAY walking down the busy streets of Chicago. RAY: You're not gonna fool anyone in drag. MISS FRASER: Well, I fooled you, Ray. RAY: Ah, this is crazy! I know I'm in a bind and I need some help, but this is going too far. MISS FRASER: Well, I'm sure if the situation were reversed, you'd do exactly the same for me. RAY: Not in a MILLION years. MISS FRASER: Really? RAY: I'd never get caught in dead in drag. MISS FRASER: Well, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Ray. In fact, certain tribes in the Northwest - T'glinket - believe a man should experience life as a woman... RAY looks heavenward. MISS FRASER (continued): ... in order to be a better husband. RAY stops walking. RAY: Alright, alright, okay! But it's only because I'm in a bind! Now, I'll run this by Sister Anne and if she says it's okay, then we'll do it; but if anyone gets wise to this, this was not my idea. Do you understand? MISS FRASER: Understood. RAY and MISS FRASER resume walking. MISS FRASER (continued): Oh. One other question. Do you think teal is my color, or should I lean toward mustard? RAY: Who cares? MISS FRASER: Well, I do! RAY and MISS FRASER turn a corner. CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA'S SCHOOL - MUCH LATER Three human figures silhouetted against a big, stained glass window. MISS FRASER and ANNIE appear, begin to walk towards a classroom. ANNIE: When Ray told me he was sending help to find Celine, I had no idea this is what he meant. MISS FRASER: Well, neither did he. And I'll confess, there are certain ... aspects of this assignment that are beyond the scope of my training. ANNIE: I can see that (chuckles). MISS FRASER: You can? ANNIE reaches for MISS FRASER's back. ANNIE: Um, you ... you've got a tag hanging from your wig. MISS FRASER: Ah. MISS FRASER takes the tag, rolls it up and sticks it inside the front of "her" blouse. MISS FRASER (continued): Rectified. ANNIE clears her throat. ANNIE: I think you'll find 11-B to be a spirited class. I hope you're prepared. They pass a YOUNG MAN atop a ladder, spritzing on a window to clean it. Seeing them, YOUNG MAN points the spritzer at them (like a gun), a la James Bond. ANNIE (OS): That's Todd Skolnik. By the attitude, you'd think he ran the place. He isn't much of a handyman. ANNIE and FRASER reach the classroom's entrance. ANNIE places a hand on the doorknob. ANNIE: You ready? ANNIE opens the door. CUT TO: INT CLASSROOM - ANNIE/MISS FRASER's POV We see (and hear) a very NOISY bunch of students. A PAPER AIRPLANE flies through the air. Upon seeing ANNIE and MISS FRASER, the students quiet down and return to their respective seats. ANNIE: Girls, can I have your attention, please? Thank you. Sister Viola is ill today, and this is her replacement, Miss Fraser. Please make her feel welcome. One of the students seated in front, WANDA, coughs off a smart-ass remark. WANDA: Yeah, right! ANNIE: Wanda, would you like to repeat that? WANDA (feigns innocence): I didn't say anything, sister. ANNIE (OS, to MISS FRASER): Good luck. ANNIE smiles and leaves the classroom. WANDA turns to her friend, TIFFANY (WANDA's sidekick/little gopher). WANDA: She's going to need it. TIFFANY (giggling): Totally. WANDA aims a SPITBALL at MISS FRASER. Surprisingly, MISS FRASER whips around and catches it with one hand! MISS FRASER approaches WANDA and hands her the spitball. MISS FRASER. I believe this is yours. WANDA: You weren't even looking. MISS FRASER: No. It's completely unnecessary if you have even a rudimentary understanding of the principles of aerodynamics, wind displacement and trajectory. I'd be happy to explain them to you if you like. WANDA: That's okay. MISS FRASER: Your loss. MISS FRASER takes the SEATING CHART from the teacher's desk and begins to look around. He approaches one dark-haired girl, MELISSA, who is working on a sculpture. MISS FRASER: Are you Melissa? MELISSA: Uh-huh. MISS FRASER bends down; with one hand resting on one cheek, "she" takes a look at the sculpture in more detail. MISS FRASER: Oh! This is you! It's very good. MELISSA: Thanks. MISS FRASER: She seems a little sad, don't you think? MELISSA: I guess. MISS FRASER, eyes still on MELISSA, begins to make revisions on the sculpture. MISS FRASER: Smile. No, REALLY smile. MISS FRASER brings both hands up to the side of "her" face, brings it up. MISS FRASER (continued): SMILE. MELISSA smiles. MISS FRASER (continued): That's it. As "she" continues to work on the sculpture, MISS FRASER looks around, toward CELINE's work space. MISS FRASER: Whose work is that? MELISSA: Oh, that's Celine's. MISS FRASER: She's not here today? WANDA, listening in on the conversation, butts in. WANDA: Celine took off. MISS FRASER: Oh. And where did she go? WANDA: Ask Ducky. MELISSA (turns to WANDA, annoyed): My name's Melissa. WANDA: She's Celine's little gopher. TIFFANY pipes in. TIFFANY: Totally. MELISSA: That's not true. MISS FRASER: There. MISS FRASER stands up, smiles at MELISSA. MISS FRASER (continued): It takes seven fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. Save your energy, you're going to need it in your child-bearing years. With a grand flourish, MISS FRASER takes one end of "her" scarf and tosses it back. MISS FRASER then walks away. CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's HALLWAY - MUCH LATER ANNIE and MISS FRASER are seen walking together. ANNIE: So, did they eat you alive? MISS FRASER: No. Although, I confess I was extremely nervous. The girls are very sweet. And, uh, I did make contact with Melissa, although she wasn't very forthcoming about Celine. ANNIE: She thinks she's protecting her. They turn a corner. MISS FRASER: That's what friends do for each other. ANNIE leaves MISS FRASER. MISS FRASER begins to go up a flight of marble stairs. From one of the pillars, RAY emerges. RAY: Pssst. Fraser! MISS FRASER stops going up the stairs and turns. MISS FRASER: Ray, what are you doing here? RAY: Look. I've been all over Rush Street and The Loop and Lincoln Park, putting the word out on Celine. Nothing. Since I was in the neighborhood, I figured I'd come by and see how you were doing. The two continue going up the flight of stairs. MISS FRASER: Oh, still too early to tell. RAY (while rubbing both hands together): Right, right, right. I see you were speaking to Sister Anne? MISS FRASER: Yes. RAY: That's good, that's really good. Uh ... did my name come up? MISS FRASER: I can't say as it did. No. Is there something on your mind, Ray? MISS FRASER and RAY reach the balcony, where there are a few students milling around. RAY: No, nah, nah. (pauses) Well, since you asked ... if my name does come up, now I'm not asking you to twist her arm or anything, but I'm just curious what she thinks of me. You know, if she's holding a grudge or anything. MISS FRASER: A grudge? RAY: Yeah. Well, you know, Sister Anne and I - we were, you know, used to be like boyfriend and girlfriend. RAY stops and turns to FRASER. RAY (continued): I mean, before she was Sister Anne. And, uh, you know, things were going along and I wanted to get a little more intimate - you know, do more of the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, if you know what I mean ... MISS FRASER (in a stiff manner): All too clearly. RAY: Okay. RAY looks away momentarily, then pulls MISS FRASER to the side. RAY: Come here. RAY (continued): There we were, doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and all of a sudden, her old man comes bursting through the door and he blows up like Krakatoa! They stop walking. RAY (continued): He starts calling me all kinds of terrible names and forbids her ever to see me again. (pauses) It was ugly, Fraser. MISS FRASER: I can imagine. RAY sighs. RAY: So, the question is, do you think someone can get over that? You know, take it in stride and move on with their lives? MISS FRASER looks at RAY in disbelief. MISS FRASER: Ray, are you asking this question because ... RAY nods. MISS FRASER (continued): .. and you think that she became ... RAY nods again. MISS FRASER closes "her" eyes, shakes her head in disgust and walks off. RAY shakes his head and rams one fist against his other hand. RAY: I knew it. Thanks! CUT TO: INT/EXT MELISSA's ROOM - LATER MELISSA is seated on her bed. She hears a knock on the door, opens it and sees MISS FRASER. MELISSA: Miss Fraser. MISS FRASER: Are you alright? MELISSA (nodding): Yeah, I'm okay. MISS FRASER: You seemed upset earlier. MELISSA: No, I'm fine. MISS FRASER (pauses): Can I come in? MELISSA looks momentarily at her bed. MELISSA: Um ... I guess. MISS FRASER steps inside, MELISSA shuts the door. MISS FRASER: You're worried about Celine, aren't you? (begins looking around) MELISSA: Oh, she'll be okay. I mean, I'm sure she'll be okay. She always comes back. MISS FRASER: And you and she are the best of friends. MELISSA: Well, she's the only one here I trust. (looks down at her bed) Nobody ever really is who they say they are. MISS FRASER: Do you know where she is? MELISSA: No, I ... I know she disappeared. MISS FRASER (looking around): Well, let's see what we can see. This is Celine's side? Her school blazer's still here, which would indicate that she changed into her street clothes before leaving, which means she probably wasn't kidnapped. On the other hand, this collection of stuffed animals suggests that she had to leave ... MISS FRASER sits on CELINE's bed. MISS FRASER (continued): before she had time to pack her favorite things. MELISSA smiles. MELISSA: Hey, you're pretty good. MISS FRASER picks up a gym shoe of Celine's, sniffs it, and whistles at the odor it emits. CELINE: You really don't want to be doing that. Those are her gym shoes. MISS FRASER: I think she does more than gym in these shoes. There are traces of limestone and fungus ... MISS FRASER takes a LICK at the sole of the shoe. MELISSA looks grossed out. MISS FRASER (OS): ... or is it mold? MELISSA: Eeew, Miss, you really don't want to be doing that. MISS FRASER takes another lick, pauses. MISS FRASER sets the shoe down, and begins to bounce around the bed. MISS FRASER: Boing, boing, boing ... MELISSA: What are you doing? MISS FRASER: Interesting. The springs 14 through 18 are out of line. (pauses) May I? MELISSA: Yes. MISS FRASER stands up, and with a toss of "her" hair, kneels down to feel under the mattress. MISS FRASER: Does Celine have, uh, problems with her back? MELISSA: Sometimes. MISS FRASER brings out a DIARY from the mattress. MELISSA: That's her diary. You don't want to read that. She's my friend. MISS FRASER hands the diary to MELISSA, stands up. MISS FRASER: I understand. MELISSA: You mean you're not, if I don't give it to you? MISS FRASER: Not if you don't want me to. MELISSA: Yeah. But you're a teacher. MISS FRASER: That doesn't mean I can't respect people's decisions. MISS FRASER moves toward the door. MISS FRASER: We'll just have to find another way to help Celine. MISS FRASER turns to MELISSA. MISS FRASER: Of course, that is what she needs right now. She needs our help. MISS FRASER smiles and turns away. MELISSA: Miss Fraser? Don't tell Celine I gave it to you. MELISSA hands MISS FRASER the diary. CUT TO: EXT/INT RAY's CAR - MUCH LATER RAY: Fraser. FRASER: Hu-humm? RAY checks the back of his car using his rearview mirror. FRASER is busy changing back into his work clothes. DIEFENBAKER is also seated at the back. RAY: Aw, you're not even listening to me. (pauses) What are you doing back there? FRASER: Well, I'm changing and I'm reading Celine's diary. Listen. "The scent of pungent flowers drifted into the crypt like gossamer lace, as my love took me into his powerful arms and made love to me." RAY: The girl's a poet. FRASER: Hu-humm. RAY sighs, looks once more into the mirror. RAY: What is going on back there? FRASER (huffing, as he removes his panty hose): Well, let me tell you something, Ray. I think that the person who invented panty hose should be brought up on charges ... of cruelty, sadism ... and reckless endangerment. They pinch in the most inappropriate places. RAY: Yeah? Well, most people who wear 'em don't have those places, Benny. FRASER checks his nylons. FRASER (muttering): I've got a run. FRASER balls up the panty hose and tosses it into the front passenger seat of RAY's car. He begins to put on his chaps. RAY: What else does the diary say? FRASER: Yeah. Um ... "Cries of ecstasy burst from me as the fire had branded the depths of my sould with a love that could never be quenched. I gifted him with a treasure of gold and time; and he gifted me with his love." RAY: I'm no English major, but that stuff's so purple, I'm getting diabetes. FRASER: You just mixed a metaphor, Ray. RAY: Yeah, well, I said I was no English major. Well, it sounds to me if we find the guy with the powerful arms, the unquenchable fire, that's the guy who has her. FRASER: Uh, yes, I think you're right. RAY: Now, does it say anything else about the guy, like height, weight, hair color, distinguishable marks, that sort of thing? FRASER begins to pull up his suspenders. FRASER (continued): Ray, it's a diary, it's not a police report. Howerver, I did notice that the handyman Todd was wearing a watch and not just any ordinary watch, Ray - it was a vintage 1930s Audemares-Piquet, moon phase chronometer in 18 karat gold and there were only a hundred of it made. RAY: Yeah - she gifted her lover with gold and time. FRASER begins to button up his shirt. FRASER: Precisely. RAY: Alright, I'll go check out this Todd guy while you make out your report. FRASER: Right. RAY checks his mirror, does a double-take. RAY: Oh, and Benny? Before I drop you off? FRASER: Uh-huh? RAY circles a finger around his face and ears. FRASER looks at himself in the mirror. FRASER: Oh, dear. FRASER removes his earrings. CUT TO: EXT CANADIAN CONSULATE -MOMENTS LATER RAY's car passes by the building. CUT TO: INT CANADIAN CONSULATE - PRESENT MOMENT THATCHER (OS): I gave you one job, Fraser ... CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of THATCHER. THATCHER (continued): ... albeit a menial one; nevertheless, one which would allow me to brighten the life of a man that I respect more than anyone else in this force. THATCHER walks toward FRASER who is standing at attention. FRASER: I'm working on it. THATCHER faces FRASER. THATCHER: I've seen you track a snowflake back from the cloud it came from! Finding one single bottle of scotch can't be that hard! FRASER: You wouldn't think so, no. THATCHER: No, you wouldn't. FRASER nods. THATCHER begins to walk toward the door. FRASER walks briskly to catch up with THATCHER before she leaves, and opens the door for her. Very near each other now, THATCHER sniffs. THATCHER: Is that perfume I smell, Fraser? FRASER: Passion Flower, ma'am. THATCHER walks away. FRASER closes the door, brings a wrist up to his nose and nods, before walking away. CUT TO: INT CHICAGO PD OFFICE - PRESENT MOMENT RAY is at his desk, talking to someone over the phone. RAY: That's right. Glendorlan. Not since 1965? Oh, come on, Sulley! You gotta do better than that. Oh, yeah? When you wanted your parking tickets fixed, who did you call, huh? Yeah, thanks for nothing. RAY half-slams the receiver back on its cradle, then stands up from his desk. ELAINE approaches, carrying a sheet of paper. ELAINE: Ray, I got the address on Todd Skolnik. 420 West Lexington. RAY gets his scarf from the hanger, wraps it around his neck. RAY: Nice neighborhood. ELAINE: You want to hear his history? RAY: Yeah. RAY takes his coat from the hanger, begins to put it on. ELAINE (reading from the sheet of paper she's carrying): He went down for grand theft auto in '94, the school put him on a work release program to integrate him back into society. RAY: Aw, well, it looks like Todd integrated himself ... RAY takes the sheet of paper from ELAINE RAY (continued): ... into the slammer. CUT TO: EXT TREASURY ANTIQUES STORE - LATER CUT TO: INT TREASURY ANTIQUES STORE - PRESENT MOMENT CELINE and TODD are offering to sell an antique flask to the proprietor of the store, a middle-aged man named JOHNSTONE. CELINE: Look, are you interested or not? There's lots of other places we could take it to. JOHNSTONE: No, uh, no, it's quite nice. CELINE: Alright. So, how much? JOHNSTONE: Well, it's all based on how much I can get for it, and a piece like this rarely ... TODD: Really, if you don't want it, it's okay. JOHNSTONE: That doesn't mean I won't give you a fair price. I was thinking of something in the neighborhood of a hundred dollars. CELINE: That's the wrong neighborhood. JOHNSTONE: Two hundred. That's all you'll get anywhere. CELINE looks up to TODD, who approves. CELINE: Done. JOHNSTONE: It is a lovely piece. You mind if I ask you where you came across it? CELINE: Yeah, you know what? I do. CELINE and TODD leave the store. JOHNSTONE takes out an ANTIQUE phone and places a call. CUT TO: EXT TODD's APARTMENT BUILDING - PRESENT MOMENT RAY climbs the steps leading to TODD's apartment building. RAY knocks on the door. RAY: Chicago PD, open up! CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO STREET - LATER CELINE and TODD have left the antique shop. TODD looks worried. TODD: I think that antique dealer was asking too many questions. CELINE: What do we care? We're out of here, right? TODD still looks worried. CELINE (continued): Right? Give me a hug, Todd. CELINE jumps to his arms, and the two of them kiss. We then see a BLUE VAN. CUT TO: INT TODD's APARTMENT - PRESENT MOMENT Ray is picking Todd's door lock open. CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO STREET - LATER CELINE and TODD have just finished kissing. CELINE notices the blue van, and its passenger. CELINE (OS): It's that guy from the antique store. TODD looks. CELINE (continued): Let's get out of here. The two of them begin to run, just as ... CUT TO: INT TODD's APARTMENT - PRESENT MOMENT RAY is looking around TODD's apartment. He picks up a CALLING CARD HOLDER from an EMPTY DRAWER. CUT TO: EXT CHICAGO STREETS - PRESENT MOMENT TODD and CELINE are still running. TODD outruns CELINE, crosses a busy street, we hear a CAR HORN, and TODD SLAMS into the BONNET, then WINDSHIELD of a moving vehicle! His body tumbles to the ground. CELINE: Noooooooo! CELINE rushes to TODD's side, just as onlookers begin to gather. CUT TO: INT TODD's APARTMENT - PRESENT MOMENT RAY LOOKS OUT A WINDOW as he hears to commotion outside. He RUSHES to the scene. As RAY runs, he motions for the crowd to disperse with his hand. RAY: Police! RAY kneels beside TODD's unconscious figure, feels for a pulse, looks to the crowd. RAY: Call 911. RAY then finds a CALLING CARD -- TREASURY ANTIQUES -- from TODD's jacket. FADE OUT END ACT TWO
ACT THREE FADE IN INT ST. FORTUNATA's SCHOOL - MUCH LATER CELINE is playing the tuba. ANNIE and MISS FRASER enter. ANNIE: Melissa. MELISSA stops playing the tuba. MELISSA: Yes, Sister Anne? ANNIE approaches. ANNIE: I have some sad news to deliver in chapel tonight. But, uh, I wanted to tell you first. MELISSA: Is it Celine? Is she okay? CUT TO: INT MELISSA's CLASSROOM - LATER MELISSA is seated on her bed. MISS FRASER brings her a cup of tea, and sits down next to her. MELISSA (slowly starts to break down): Celine was only seeing Todd for a couple of months. At first, I thought it was just to make her parents crazy. But then, I think she was really into him. I mean, she can have anyone she wanted, she's so pretty, so popular. And she was really great to me and now I'm scared, I wish she would come home. MISS FRASER: Don't. You'll just make your eyes all red for the dance. MELISSA: I don't want to go to the dance, anyway! Might as well be invisible. MISS FRASER hands CELINE a napkin. MISS FRASER: You know, when I was growing up in the far north, I used to watch the girls in the village - well, the OTHER girls in the village - and I would try to figure out exactly what it was that made one girl seem more popular than another or more in demand than another girl. And I used to think it was that they were more attractive. MELISSA: Please. Please don't tell me they want the plain girl, 'cause I already know that they don't. MISS FRASER: No, actually, they wanted the girl with the sharpest teeth. MELISSA laughs despite herself. MELISSA: Sharpest teeth? MISS FRASER: Yes. In the north, sharp teeth are very important for ... cutting leather and manufacturing clothing. MELISSA: So, you want me to file my teeth? MISS FRASER: Now, that's a thought - no. The point of the story is, that it wasn't their teeth that made them popular. It was the self-confidence that came from having a purpose and a goal. The young men responded to that (pause). Would you accompany me to the dance? MELISSA looks at MISS FRASER. MELISSA: Yeah. I'd like that, thanks. CUT TO: CORRIDOR OF ST. FORTUNATA's - LATER MISS FRASER is walking down the corridor, SNIFFING things around. MISS FRASER squats, runs a FOREFINGER to the floor, SNIFFS at the FINGER, stands up. Just then, WANDA and TIFFANY appear. WANDA: We're on to you, Miss! TIFFANY: Totally! MISS FRASER begins to look apprehensive. WANDA: We see the way you're always opening doors for women, the way you're, like, incredibly tall and polite ... TIFFANY: Totally! WANDA: We hear the way you talk. TIFFANY: For sure. WANDA: You know you can't fool us. TIFFANY: We should have known it right from the start. WANDA points a finger at MISS FRASER. WANDA: You're ... a CANADIAN. MISS FRASER looks half-relieved. MISS FRASER: Oh. Do you think we could keep this between us? TIFFANY (smugly): We'll see. WANDA and TIFFANY leave. MISS FRASER nods, SNIFFS a FINGER, then walks. CUT TO: INT/EXT TREASURY ANTIQUES STORE - LATER RAY opens the door for MISS FRASER. MISS FRASER enters, begins to look around inside the stoor, RAY waking just right behind "her". MISS FRASER finds a horn - HONK! RAY: Put that down! JOHNSTONE appears, steps to the display counter. JOHNSTONE: Good afternoon. Can I help you find something? RAY: Well, actually, someone. We're looking for a missing person. RAY takes a piece of paper from his pocket, shows it to Johnstone. RAY (continued): Have you seen this girl? JOHNSTONE looks. JOHNSTONE: Yes. She was in here yesterday. RAY: Did she say anything about where she had been, or where she was going? Anything that might help us? JOHNSTONE: Are you her parents? RAY: No. We're just interested parties. Look, if she should come back, could you give me a call? RAY takes a PEN from the inside pocket of his shirt, begins to write on the sheet of paper. MISS FRASER: Excuse me, would it trouble you too much if I had a look at that flask? JOHNSTONE: Oh, I see you have a taste for art deco. JOHNSTONE takes the flask from the display counter, hands it to MISS FRASER. JOHNSTONE (continued): Now, this is a very fine piece. From the early 20's. I just got it in. MISS FRASER LICKS the FLASK. JOHNSTONE: Ma'am, are you going to buy it or what? MISS FRASER shakes "her" head. MISS FRASER: No. MISS FRASER hands the flask back to JOHNSTONE and heads toward the door. RAY: I'm sorry, I can't take her anywhere. If you should see her again, please call me. We see MISS FRASER waiting for RAY to open the door. RAY opens the door grudgingly. RAY: What, you can't get it yourself? CUT TO: EXT TREASURY ANTIQUE's STORE - LATER MISS FRASER and RAY make head toward RAY's RIV, parked nearby. RAY: What were you doing in there? MISS FRASER: I recognized the spores on the flask, Ray. It comes from the same fungus that I found at the bottom of Celine's shoes. RAY: Which means? MISS FRASER: Which means that she found the flask somewhere on the grounds of the school, snuck it out and came here probably to sell it. RAY: So, she's moving the stuff out of the school. MISS FRASER: It would appear. And that's not all. There was a name engraved at the bottom of the flask: "Frank Nitti". RAY: Ah, Al Capone's right hand man. Frank Nitti's flask, Elliot Ness' gun. What is this, a garage sale for the Untouchables? MISS FRASER walks to "her" side of the car, while RAY walks to the driver's side. MISS FRASER: Well, if we can establish ... RAY! MANNERS! RAY looks up, pauses, begins to walk to MISS FRASER's side, smiling dangerously. RAY: You know, Benny? There's a limit ... MISS FRASER: A LIMIT to GOOD ETIQUETTE? I think not, RAY. RAY opens the door for MISS FRASER. As MISS FRASER sits, he says ... RAY: Just get in the car before I beat you with your purse. RAY slams the door. CUT TO: INT TREASURY ANTIQUES store - PRESENT MOMENT JOHNSTONE and AL are checking out the photograph on RAY's sheet of paper/photograph. JOHNSTONE: You find the school with these uniforms, we find the girl's stash. AL: Aw, there must be a hundred schools with uniforms like that. We see JOHNSTONE holding up a MAGNIFYING glass to the photograph. JOHNSTONE: With this crest? AL takes the photograph and the paper. CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's (ONE OF THE RESTROOMS) - LATER MELISSA is staring at her image from a mirror. CELINE appears from within one of the cubicles. MELISSA turns to face CELINE. MELISSA: Celine? Oh, my God. When I heard about Todd ... are you okay? CELINE (weeping): Not really, no. MELISSA (begins to cry, too): I don't know what to say to you. Is there anything I can do to help you? Anything? CELINE: Yeah. (pause) Will you come with me? MELISSA: Celine, what do you mean? Runaway? Why can't you just stay in school? CELINE: No. Todd and I had such great plans. I ... I have to do this for him. MELISSA: Celine, but it's dangerous! CELINE: Not if we get the rest of the stuff tonight. You have to come with me, Mel ... CELINE runs a hand on MELISSA's CHEEK. CELINE (continued): ... you're my best friend, aren't you? MELISSA: Of course, I'm you're best friend. CELINE: And ... and best friends, they stick together right? MELISSA: They stick together, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we run away! CELINE: You can start living your life. And we'll - be, we'll be rich... The two of them laugh. CELINE (continued): ... and free. Listen, just meet me at the steam tunnels tonight, okay? Eight o' clock. We'll get the rest of the stuff and we'll get out of this hellhole for good, okay? They embrace each other. MELISSA: I love you. CELINE: I love you, too. Eight o' clock, okay? MELISSA: Okay. CUT TO: INT RETIREMENT HOME - LATER The DOOR OPENS. A NURSE appears, RAY behind her, his coat in one arm. We see an old man sitting by himself, UNCLE LORENZO, listening to BIG BAND MUSIC. RAY: Hey, how's he doing? NURSE: Oh, he's fine. RAY smiles at the NURSE, who leaves. RAY approaches. RAY: Hey. Uncle Lorenzo! UNCLE LORENZO: Who's that? RAY: It's me, Little Ray! UNCLE LORENZO: Stand out here where I can see ya, keep your hands out in the open! RAY draws near, sets his coat on a nearby desk, sits next to UNCLE LORENZO. RAY: Don't you remember? I came by at Christmas. I brought you chocolate cigars. LORENZO: Yeah, maybe I see it now. I can't be too careful, you know. I hear a crew out of Deerborn Park is looking to give me some swimming lessons. RAY: Look, Uncle Lorenzo, I gotta ask you some questions. UNCLE LORENZO: Everybody's asking me some questions. RAY: What about a gun, Elliot Ness' gun? NURSE appears with a cupful of medication. NURSE: Medicine time! UNCLE LORENZO grumpily WAVES HER AWAY. UNCLE LORENZO: GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE! NURSE GLARES at UNCLE LORENZO, sets the medication on a table (OS) then walks back out. UNCLE LORENZO: Look, Little Ray. Anyone gets wind of this, I'm gonna wish the Deerborn Park got me. RAY: I understand. UNCLE LORENZO: Al's got it. RAY: Capone? LORENZO: SHUT UP! What are you trying to do, get me killed? RAY: Are you telling me that Al Capone has Elliot Ness' gun? UNCLE LORENZO: He did. The word is, Vito swindled him out of it, along with the rest of the stuff. RAY: The rest of what stuff? Who's Vito? UNCLE LORENZO: Vito Masuci, Al's brother-in-law. Don't you read the papers? RAY: Ah, I've been kind of busy. UNCLE LORENZO: Eh, he's been taking from everyone: Capone, Nitti, all the big boys. He's building himself up a nice stash: Gold, furs, hooch, the works. RAY NODS. RAY: It takes a lot of jam to steal from Capone. (pauses) So, how'd Masuci pull it off? UNCLE LORENZO: There's this construction company, and he built the vault under the building he's working on. RAY: This vault. It wouldn't happen to have been under St. Fortunata's, would it? UNCLE LORENZO PANICS! UNCLE LORENZO: Who's been talking? Get out of here ... RAY raises his hands up in surrender. UNCLE LORENZO: I don't know you, I've never seen you before ... RAY gets his jacket and leaves. I want to be by myself, everybody that comes here, they want information, I'm tired of talking to people, the next thing you know, the phone'll ring and I'll be ... CUT TO INT ST. FORTUNATA's - LATER We see a hand - ANNE's - taking out keys from a drawer. MAN (OS): I'm sorry about this, Sister. The pipes burst next door, and were afraid you might have some flooding. You mind if we check? Water damage can be pretty expensive. ANNIE: Oh, no. Please. Thanks for letting us know. The last thing we need is another big expense right here. . MAN: Don't worry, Sister. We have everything under control. ANNIE: I hope it won't take long, there's a school dance tonight. We see that the man is JOHNSTONE, dressed as a maintenance man! CUT TO: EXT ST. FORTUNATA's - NIGHT As BLONDIE's song, HEART OF GLASS is heard, we see students entering ST. FORTUNATA's for the schooldance. We see a DISCO BALL. GIRL's VOICE (OS): And now, a favorite from 1978 ... CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's - SAME MOMENT Students dancing with each other. ANNE observes the scene. TIFFANY is ogling the guys, while WANDA observes the crowd. WANDA: These St. Arnold guys are such geeks! TIFFANY (feigns disgust): Totally! Amid the crowd, we see MISS FRASER with MELISSA. MISS FRASER: You know, your make-up is exquisite. MELISSA: Thanks! Sister Anne did it. MISS FRASER: You see that young man over by the punch bowl, gulping down cup after cup? We see a YOUNG MAN looking in MELISSA's direction as he pours punch into his cup. Punch falls ... OUT of cup. MISS FRASER (OS): I think he's trying to work up the courage to come and ask you to dance. MELISSA: Why, he's not even looking this way. MISS FRASER: You'll have to trust me, Melissa. I have a profound understanding of the interior working of a young man's mind. YOUNG MAN approaches MELISSA and MISS FRASER. MELISSA (panicking): God, I'm not going to be able to do this! MISS FRASER: Sure, you will! MELISSA: He's coming over, what do I do? MISS FRASER: Show your teeth. MISS FRASER and MELISSA show off their teeth. YOUNG MAN: Um, do you, um, want to dance? MELISSA pulls YOUNG MAN to the dance floor. YOUNG MAN leaves his punch cup with MISS FRASER. CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - PRESENT MOMENT DOOR OPENS, we see CELINE entering the BASEMENT. CUT BACK TO: INT. ST. FORTUNATA's DANCEFLOOR MISS FRASER sniffs the punch cup "she" is holding. Then, a short, bearded, balding man, a teacher from ST. ARNOLD's, approaches. MAN (checking out the name tag on MISS FRASER's chest): Can you dance, Miss, uh ... Fraser? MISS FRASER: Uh, no. Thank you, thank you, I'm just here as an observer. MELISSA sees him and gives him a look that appears to say, "GO FOR IT!" MISS FRASER sets the punch cup down on the floor, gives a sigh, and allows MAN to lead "her" to the dancefloor. MAN dances a la John Travolta. MAN: Get down! You really move for a big woman. MISS FRASER giggles. MAN (continued): I like big women. More of a big thing, you know? RAY suddenly appears. RAY: I'm cutting in, Jack. MAN: But we're not finished. RAY moves closer. RAY (menacingly): Take a hike! MAN leaves. RAY begins to dance with MISS FRASER. MISS FRASER: Thanks. RAY: You owe me. MISS FRASER: For what? RAY: For saving you from dancing with a guy. MISS FRASER: Well, it would appear that I am STILL dancing with a guy. RAY stops momentarily. RAY: Right. RAY begins to dance once more. RAY: So, Ness' gun ... MISS FRASER: Keep going or we won't be able to talk. RAY and MISS FRASER begin to dance a la PULP FICTION. RAY: Who still does disco? MISS FRASER: The St. Fortunata School, apparently. RAY: Ness' gun? MISS FRASER: Hmm-hmmm? RAY: And Nitti's flask? MISS FRASER: Hmm-hmmm? RAY: It all comes from this vault some mob guy built on the school grounds back in '31. MISS FRASER: Where on the grounds? RAY: Well, that's not been known for the last 60 years, until Celine and Todd found it. Bingo. MISS FRASER and RAY begin twirling. MISS FRASER: Ah. Well, Melissa didn't say anything about this. Which makes me wonder what other thing she's kept secret. We see MELISSA looking at the CLOCK ON THE WALL - 7:58. Without saying anything, she leaves her YOUNG MAN, and exits. MISS FRASER sees her. MISS FRASER: Oh, Ray, she's gone. MISS FRASER takes RAY's hand and they TANGO OUT. FADE OUT END PART THREE
PART FOUR FADE IN CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - LATER CELINE walking, bag slung around her shoulders. A HAND SHOOTS OUT, clamps against her mouth. It's JOHNSTONE and AL! AL: We have some business to take care of, cookie. CUT TO: INT ST. FORTUNATA's HALLWAY - LATER MISS FRASER and RAY look for CELINE. They see an old nun. MISS FRASER: Ray, wait. MISS FRASER kneels to the ground, SNIFFS her FEET. OLD NUN: Can I help you, Miss Fraser? MISS FRASER: Uh, yes, please, Sister. Could you tell me where you've been the last hour or so? OLD NUN: At the printshop in the basement, west wing. FRASER: Basement. MISS FRASER rises to "her" feet. FRASER: Thank you. (beckons to RAY) RAY. LIFTING the edges of "her" skirt, MISS FRASER takes off in a run toward the basement, RAY following. OLD NUN looks perplexed. CUT TO: ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - LATER MELISSA is looking for CELINE. MELISSA: Celine? Suddenly, WANDA and TIFFANY appear. WANDA: Where are you going, Ducky? MELISSA: Nowhere. TIFFANY: It doesn't look like it, it looks like she's going somewhere. WANDA: You're right. Tiff, let's go find out. Somewhere in the basement, CELINE has been tied up to one of the STEAM PIPES. JOHNSTONE: Where is it? CELINE: I don't know. JOHNSTONE lets out a HUGE BURST OF STEAM. JOHNSTONE: Next time, you'll be getting the steam cleaning! Oh, Celine, I know where the stuff you've been selling me comes from. I've heard all the stories. Now, where is the entrance to the vault? CELINE: Todd knew where it was. AL: Johnstone! We see a crying MELISSA, together with WANDA and TIFFANY. MELISSA: Celine! JOHNSTONE: Well, well, well, it's a party. JOHNSTONE faces CELINE. JOHNSTONE: Maybe you'd talk a little better ... JOHNSTONE grabs MELISSA by the HAIR! JOHNSTONE (continued): ... if it was one of your friends! CELINE: No! MELISSA: No, please! JOHNSTONE: Alright, then let's talk about that vault. CUT TO: ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - PRESENT MOMENT MISS FRASER and RAY are at the door leading toward the basement. RAY: So, how do you know they're in here? MISS FRASER: Fungus, Ray. RAY: Of course. We hear echoes of OW, OW, OW! RAY points left. RAY: Sounds like they're this way. MISS FRASER: Then I suggest we go this way. MISS FRASER points RIGHT. RAY: Do I dare ask for an explanation or do I just take your word for it? MISS FRASER faces RAY. MISS FRASER: Well, it's similar to the Doppler Effect, Ray, wherein the echoes bounce off the walls of the corridor, and the pitch of the sound waves changes and amplifies ... RAY: I'll just take your word for it. MISS FRASER: Very good. They turn RIGHT. CUT TO: ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT/RIGHT OUTSIDE THE VAULT CELINE turns to JOHNSTONE: I need some help. JOHNSTONE opens the vault. CUT TO: EXT/INT OF VAULT, where we see TREASURE! WANDA: Oh, my God. JOHNSTONE: Totally. JOHNSTONE turns to AL. JOHNSTONE: Al, you come get a load and then come back for some more. As AL complies, JOHNSTONE grabs CELINE by the hair. CELINE: Ow, ow, ow! JOHNSTONE leads them to the side. JOHNSTONE: Ladies, you're gonna take a seat over here. CUT TO: INT. _ SOMEWHERE IN ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - PRESENT MOMENT MISS FRASER: The girls aren't alone RAY: What, the Doppler Effect? MISS FRASER (points to the ground): Size 12 running shoe print. AL suddenly emerges. MISS FRASER: Excuse me. AL laughs. AL: Hey, ah, shouldn't you be grading papers or something, gorgeous? MISS FRASER laughs, then, with one hand, KNOCKS AL's gun to the ground! Holding one of AL's hands, MISS FRASER turns and punches him! MISS FRASER hands the gun to RAY, who tucks the gun at his back. They meet up with JOHNSTONE and another GOON. RAY points his gun, but JOHNSTONE points a gun at RAY and MISS FRASER. JOHNSTONE: Drop the gun. Drop it. Drop it. RAY drops his gun. RAY: You don't want to do this. I'm a cop. GOON: Well, that's too bad. We don't like cops. Seeing an opportunity for escape, CELINE grabs MELISSA by the hand and they run out. AL wants to run after them, but then ... JOHNSTONE (still pointing a gun at MISS FRASER and RAY): Don't mind them. We'd better take care of these nice folks first. CUT TO: SOMEWHERE WITHIN ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - PRESENT MOMENT CELINE and MELISSA are running. MELISSA stops CELINE. MELISSA: Wait, Celine! CELINE: Come, on, we gotta get out of here. MELISSA: No, I can't! I'm not going. I can't leave Miss Fraser. CELINE: What are you talking about? They're going to kill us. We've got to get out of here! MELISSA: No, Celine! I always do what you want but not this time. CELINE: It's no good for us. Remember, we were going to go away? MELISSA: No, Celine. This is going to be good for you. Miss Fraser's my friend and I'm not leaving. You can go if you want to. MELISSA walks off. CUT BACK TO: ST. FORTUNATA's BASEMENT - PRESENT MOMENT JOHNSTONE still has his gun pointed at MISS FRASER and RAY. JOHNSTONE: You never know. They might find you if they open this place up in sixty years MELISSA throws a BOTTLE at JOHNSTONE. MELISSA: Miss Fraser, duck! MISS FRASER grabs JOHNSTONE's gun and HITS him! RAY hits the GOON, RAY is thrown to the ground, FRASER hits JOHNSTONE, JOHNSTONE kicks MISS FRASER away, RAY is grabbed and brought to his feet, RAY delivers a one-two punch, JOHNSTONE is about to hit MISS FRASER when ... MISS FRASER: No, no! You wouldn't hit a woman, would you? JOHNSTONE hesitates. MISS FRASER kicks him in the groin, then punches him! Just as MISS FRASER blows on her "knuckle" ... Looking down, she sees the remains of the broken bottle Celine had thrown, and recognizes the label: GLENDORLAN! CELINE appears and picks up a bottle, which she throws at JOHNSTONE. CELINE: This one's for Todd! The bottle SAILS through the air, and so does MISS FRASER! Right before the bottle crashes to the ground, MISS FRASER manages to grab it, but then MISS FRASER loses "her" hair. MELISSA: Oh, my God! Miss Fraser, you're a CROSS-DRESSER?! CUT TO: EXT ST. FORTUNATA's - MUCH LATER LIGHTS FLASHING. Students milling around the school grounds. COP closes the door on paddy wagon. WANDA and TIFFANY lean against a car. WANDA: We were almost, like, killed. TIFFANY: We almost did get killed, you DIP. We see a CAMERAMAN from the NEWS moving in. We see ANNIE and RAY talking. ANNIE: You okay? RAY: Yeah. You? They begin to walk. ANNIE: Yeah. Yeah. The things in the vault will really help the school out. I owe you one, Ray. RAY: Aw, call it even. ANNIE: Even for what? RAY stops walking. RAY: You know. You, me, Ricky Stangle's basement? RAY faces ANNIE. RAY (continued): It was all my fault. ANNIE: Your fault? You think that you ruined my life? That I had to become a nun? RAY: Well, I didn't say that. ANNIE: Uh-huh. (pauses) It must feel awful to think you're responsible for the waste of a perfectly good woman. RAY (wide-eyed with GUILT): I am? ANNIE: No, Ray. Look, I wanted to go to Ricky Stangle's basement as much as you did. But after we got caught, I let you take all the blame. I'm the one who owes you an apology, Ray. RAY: Really? ANNIE: Yeah. I was a coward. After that, I decided never be afraid of my own feelings again. That's what led me here. RAY: So, I'm not gonna be struck down by lightning? ANNIE: No, not this time! It would be the waste of a perfectly good man! We see FRASER somewhere along the grounds, back in his MOUNTIE UNIFORM, talking to MELISSA. FRASER: You're very brave, Melissa. And I have to thank you for saving my life. MELISSA: You lied to me. FRASER: About what? MELISSA: About being a woman. FRASER: Oh, yes. That. Well, yes, I did lie about that. Those weren't my clothes, that wasn't my hair ... MELISSA: Those weren't your breasts? FRASER: No. Those weren't my breasts. But other than that, everything I said ... was the truth. MELISSA: Well, that's good, 'cause the hair color wasn't right, anyway! MELISSA leaves. FRASER: Oh, thank you. I'll remember that ... for the next time. RAY appears. We begin to hear, soft, melodious, flute tunes. RAY: You ready? FRASER: Yes. They head for the RIV. RAY: You know, Benny? You weren't a bad-looking woman. FRASER (looking pleased): Thank you, Ray. RAY: Of course ... you weren't exactly my type, either. FRASER: Just what exactly IS your type, Ray? RAY: Oh, well, I like a woman who is kind and honest, with a good sense of humor ... FRASER: Well, I don't have those qualities? RAY: No, no, you do. I just like a woman who is ... you know, a woman. FRASER: Ah, that's picky, Ray. RAY: Ah, don't get in a snit. FRASER opens HIS side of the door. FRASER: Well, I'm not! RAY: Well, good! RAY opens his side of the door. RAY: So, what are you doing after work? FRASER (obviously annoyed): Nothing with you! RAY (sounding absolutely tickled pink): You are SOOOOO sensitive! RAY knocks one gloved hand against his fist. FADE OUT END PART FOUR
