"Starman" Written by Frank Siracusa PUBLISHED DRAFT January 30, 1996 Episode #33-"STARMAN"-Published Draft PROLOGUE EXT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- NIGHT To establish. A one story strip motel with a brick facade and a plastic frond at every door. Find one particular door. MOVE IN on it. It's Number Six. The plaque surrounding the number is in the shape of a FLYING SAUCER. INT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- ROOM SIX IAN MACDONALD, the man responsible for blowing up Ray's car in "The Man Who Knew Too Little" is laying in a large oval shaped bed, draped in freshly used faux silk sheets, red ones. Ian is wearing a grin of silly ecstasy, and not much more. Beside the bed is a clock radio (which reads 10:41 pm), which tells time and from which, Willie Nelson WARBLES "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You". Beside him, the bathroom door stands slightly ajar. From inside we HEAR water, a shower running. IAN: Audrey... have I told you lately that I love you? AUDREY (O.S.):Huh? IAN: Because I do. And a woman as precious as you... as gentle as you.. should be cherished... nurtured... treated like a hothouse flower, protected and preserved in the languid warmth of her own... humidity. AUDREY (O.S.): Huh? The WATER stops. Ian reaches for his pants at the edge of the bed and pulls something out of the pocket. IAN: (louder) Humidity! AUDREY (O.S.): I'll turn on the fan. Movement inside the bathroom as Audrey puts herself together. IAN: The point is, when you love a woman -- really love a woman -- that's what you do. Because that's what you should do. CLOSE ON a beautiful engagement RING. IAN (CONT'D): (beat) So will you? Reveal AUDREY for the first time. A beauty with piercing eyes and a caring smile. She stands in the doorway wearing Ian's shirt. AUDREY: Will I what? IAN: You know. Marry me. This stops her. She stands there, stunned. AUDREY: I... She hesitates. Ian smiles broadly, taking the hesitation for a "Yes". He grabs Audrey's hand and slips the ring onto her finger. IAN: Till death do us part. AUDREY: Ian I... BAM. BAM. BAM. The door. Audrey reacts startled. IAN: Go away, we're in love! ON THE DOOR KNOB The door sweeps open flooding the room with bright light. TWO FIGURES stand backlit in the doorway. They enter the room. SUIT #1: The signal. AUDREY: No. I need... SUIT #1: Azimuth two-twenty. Andromeda. AUDREY: They're here? IAN: Who's here? Get the hell out... Ian rises to confront them, gets tangled in the sheets in his modesty, and goes ass over tea kettle to the floor with a resounding CRASH, his head striking a DRESSER. AUDREY: (to Ian) I have to go. I can't explain. Ian reaches out, grabs her hand. IAN: No, wait! What do you mean? A spot of blood trickles down from a cut over his eye. Audrey moves to touch it. AUDREY: I'm sorry, I... The SUIT moves for Audrey but Ian stumbles in the way, standing between them. IAN: Take me instead. I'm the dominant species. Out of nowhere, the second figure looms over Ian and extends his hand and presses a sophisticated hypodermic SYRINGE into Ian's arm. AUDREY: Ian! IAN : Struggles and the TIP of the syringe breaks off in his arm as Ian drops to the floor like a stone. IAN'S POV Through the door, he sees Audrey disappear into the blinding white light. The diamond ring GLIMMERS brightly as the light catches it. It's the last thing Ian sees because the picture fades to black and we can't see anything either. CUT TO: INT. STATION STAIRS -- MORNING FRASER hurries down the stairs catching up to RAY. FRASER: Your word? RAY: Yes. FRASER: You promise? RAY: I said I promised. FRASER: Fine. Let's say there was someone. Someone who you helped and then swore you'd never help again. RAY: This a hypothetical question, right? FRASER: Yes, that's it, quite right. RAY: Okay. FRASER: And say this hypothetical person hadn't been entirely... honest with you. In face he'd been, well, not honest at all. A pathological liar, actually, although he had in turn helped you but in so doing had not helped you. So to speak. RAY: Do you want to tell me which one of your friends you're talking about? Who is it you're trying to help, Fraser? FRASER: I thought we agreed this was hypothetical. RAY: That bad, huh? FRASER: Unfortunately. To continue... Could you find it in your heart to ever help this person again? RAY: What, specifically, did this hypothetical friend of yours... FRASER: Ours. RAY: Yours, do to me that I would never forgive him. FRASER: Well let's say he... ruined your vacation and caused you to be attacked by Canadian mobsters resulting in the necessity that you shoot and detonate your car into a seething fireball. (beat) Hypothetically. Ray stops dead. A look of horror comes over him. RAY: (realising) No... No... At that moment a cop, PETE, steps out of the LUNCH ROOM and heads to Ray. He look a lot like a biker, in his undercover outfit, except he has his badge on a chain around his neck. PETE: Amazing friend you've got, Fraser. I mean, how many guys would run a marathon around the world to raise money for an orphanage in China? COP #2: (crossing in) Two hundred and thirty thousand miles, feet bleeding, heart fit to burst, just to buy some poor little Chinese kids a big-screen TV. PETE: And a "Dumbo" video. COP #2: You gotta love a guy who loves "Dumbo". Ray turns his look on Fraser, his worst fears confirmed. RAY: Ian. (to Fraser) Ian Macdonald. The little jerk who... Fraser holds up a finger, reminding Ray. RAY (CONT'D): (catches himself) Tell me this man is not really here before I take out my gun and kill myself. The crowd of cops in the lunch room parts revealing Ian. IAN: Hi guys. Am I ever glad to see you. RAY: Forget it. I'll kill him. Ray starts for Ian. Fraser has to hold Ray back. FRASER: Ray, please. You promised. RAY: That was hypothetical! FRASER: He needs help. RAY: No. FRASER: Just give him ten seconds. A life may depend on it. RAY: Yeah, his. Fraser pulls him aside. FRASER: Ray -- just because a man feels compelled to lie, doesn't mean there isn't truth in him somewhere. (Ray gets this, nods) Besides, I'm sure he intended to go to China... Ray forces himself to look at Ian and consider this. Ian offers his most sincere smile. Ray stifles his urges and squeezes out his words. RAY: Okay, two seconds. Fraser nudges Ian. FRASER: Thank you. (to Ian) Go ahead, Ian. IAN: My fiance has been kidnapped by Aliens. Ray lunges at Ian. Fraser has to pull him off. END OF PROLOGUE
ACT ONE INT. POLICE STATION - HALLWAY -- DAY Ray paces back and forth. Ian outlines his story to Fraser. IAN: Okay, don't believe me. RAY: I don't. IAN: I'm telling the truth. RAY: Truth? Are you even able to spell the word? (to Fraser) Should I remind you of the last time we went for a ride with this character? Bar room shoot out, car chase, mud up to here. Then he stole my car -- I turn my back for two seconds... FRASER: He did return it, Ray. RAY: Just in time to have to blow it up so I could protect his sorry butt. You should have let me strangle him. IAN: Wouldn't do you any good. Aliens put a force field around me. Ray gives up. He walks away down the hall as Ian continues his story. FRASER: Ray wait. We should at least hear him out. Fraser follows Ray as Ian tags close behind. RAY: Why? What good will it do? He'll tell us lies and you'll believe him. Then the next thing you know we'll be driving around in circles dodging bullets. Ray continues to walk without turning back. IAN RAY: (to Ian) Shut up. FRASER RAY: Thank you, grasshopper. I've got business to attend to. Ray turns the corner heading for the Interrogation room. Fraser follows. Ian's about to follow, spots a TECHNICIAN pushing a POLYGRAPH CART and stops him. IAN: (to Technician) You're late. The suspect's heart rate is probably too high by now, this thing's useless. Go get me a bucket of ice, a wet towel and three jars of tomato juice. I'll make him talk if it's the last thing I do. The technician looks dumb-founded. Fraser, and Ray, who have stopped to witness this, look on. IAN (CONT'D): Come on man, there's no time to lose. The technician moves off in a hurry, wondering what just happened. Ian takes the cart and moves past Fraser and Ray and into the Interrogation room. Fraser looks to Ray. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM -- DAY Ian is at the table, setting up the polygraph and beginning to attach the electrodes and monitors to his exposed skin. Ray enters. Eyes the polygraph. RAY: I need that. Ian ignores him. IAN: I'm not surprised. RAY: (looking around) Where's my suspect? IAN: He confessed, I sent the file to the States Attorney and put him in holding. RAY: You impersonated a cop? IAN: Well, you're not doing a very good job. RAY: (turns on his heel) That's it. Ray turns and exits back into the hallway. Fraser follows him. RAY (CONT'D): Look, Fraser, this guy's got some serious problems. For all you know he probably skipped bail and is here illegally. (Ray turns) I should arrest him. Fraser takes Ray's shoulders and steers him away from the Interrogation room door and into the observation room. RAY (CONT'D): (exiting) At the very least we put him on a bus back to Winnipeg and rat him out to immigration. We'll be doing everyone a big favor. INT. OBSERVATION ROOM -- CONTINUOUS As Fraser and Ray talk, we see Ian through the window expertly hooking himself up to the polygraph. RAY: He's talking Aliens for God's sake. FRASER: Perhaps he exaggerated, but if you would just look Ray you would observe there is some truth in what he's saying. The cut on his forehead, for example. RAY: He probably slipped in the shower. FRASER: On the contrary. The presence of minute paint particles around the gash, along with traces of wood in the scraping and abrasions... RAY: Wood? FRASER: ...Cheap particle board would be my guess. From the angle, I'd say his head made violent contact with a low piece of furniture, a dresser perhaps. RAY: So he tripped in the bedroom. FRASER: Yes he could have. But that would be an assumption. Not much different than Ian's exaggerations, really. If we don't investigate, we'll never be certain. Ray shoots him a withering look. RAY: Oh yes we will. FRASER: Ray, never judge a book by its cover. Books. I knew your grandmother was behind this. Ian, happily covered in polygraph wires, waves from the other side of the glass. His voice comes through the speakers. IAN: Ready. Ray looks at Ian, shakes his head, defeated. Decision made, Ray turns and stalks out of the room. INT. LINE UP ROOM -- DAY The door from the hall bursts open and Ray walks in. RAY: Okay, I will give you my lunch hour. You can have sixty minutes of my time to waste and then that's it, done, kaput. Let's go. Ian looks genuinely disappointed. IAN: You haven't interrogated me yet. RAY: Don't push your luck. Let's go. IAN: No, no. I insist. RAY/FRASER: No you don't. IAN: Yes I do. Ian starts the polygraph. The needle glides along in a straight line, registering a normal true response. IAN (CONT'D): My name is Ian MacDonald and I run a tourism business out of Ontario bringing Canadians down to the states. Sight-seeing. The polygraph needle moves in a smooth true path. IAN (CONT'D): That's where I met Audrey, on one of the stops. The moment I saw her it was magic, like summer lightening. I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. FRASER: (quietly, to Ian) I'm sure she was. But before Detective Vecchio changes his mind... IAN: You should have seen the look on her face when I gave her the engagement ring. It was my mother's. I put it on her finger and her eyes opened up like a kid at Christmas. Blue eyes. Same color as Mom's... Neither Fraser nor Ray can resist a peek at the polygraph. the pen lines are straight and true. FRASER: But then she was kidnapped. IAN: Yes. They look at the lines again. Still true. IAN (CONT'D): There was a bright light, I couldn't see... The polygraph line continues straight. IAN (CONT'D): We were on our way to our wedding and we stopped off... for coffee. The polygraph begins to stir. IAN (CONT'D): Audrey's father the Doge of Venice had flown in from Switzerland for the occasion and invited all his friends. Real "A List". types. Clint, Stallone, Sinatra, Bogart - Ray looks at the polygraph print out. Earthquake. RAY: This is useless! He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. Bogart's been dead for over twenty years. IAN: Frank Bogart. Humphrey's younger brother. Big oil man from the Antilles. The polygraph needles goes off the scale. Ray turns away, incredulous. RAY: (to Fraser) That's it, I'm putting him out of his misery, hand me a blunt object. IAN: Try it. My father-in-law, the Doge, gave me diplomatic immunity. Fraser looks at the BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF on Ian's upper arm, notices something. FRASER: Ray is right. IAN/RAY: He is?/I am? FRASER: There appears to have been a girl, perhaps she wasn't abducted by aliens although according to this she was abducted, but I supposed we should ignore that. RAY: No, we should call the FBI. I'd love to see Agent Ford's face when he meets Ian. FRASER: Your quite right, he wouldn't take him seriously either. He might find this interesting though. Fraser turns and rolls up Ian's shirt sleeve a turn to discover a light purple BRUISE with a dark center on his upper arm. IAN: Bee sting. They were chasing Bogart. Killer bees, hundreds of them. Think the stinger is still in there. FRASER: It appears to be infected. Fraser pulls out his KNIFE, points to the ceiling. FRASER (CONT'D): What's that? Ian looks up, startles. Fraser grabs Ian's arm with his free hand and squeezes the bruise. IAN: Owwww! FRASER: I have removed it. IAN: I know! Police brutality. I'm calling the Hague. (to Fraser) I expected better of you. Fraser examines the thing he's now holding in his hand. Ray notices his interest. FRASER: I should really get a poultice to cover that wound. (to Ian) Excuse us, will you? Fraser indicates to Ray. IAN: As a political prisoner I demand you guarantee my safety under the Geneva convention. Fraser and Ray ignore him and exit into the hall. INT. PRECINCT HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS RAY: You mind telling me what that was all about? FRASER: I was distracting him. So I could remove... this. Fraser holds up a small thing sliver of rolled STAINLESS steel. Barely the thickness of a piece of thread. RAY: A needle. Drugs? FRASER: (shakes his head) No needle tracks. And Ian hardly needs help to escape from reality. We should ask him. RAY: And have him tell us it's immunization shots for his honeymoon with the Doge? I don't think so. FRASER: Then we would have to ask whoever put it there. Ray considers this. A deep sigh, then: RAY: Sixty minutes, my lunch hour. Understood? FRASER: Understood. RAY: And under no circumstances whatsoever will that little [word omitted] put one foot into my car. FRASER: Fair enough. The door opens, Ian sticks his head out, electrodes still attached. IAN: Absolutely. We'll take mine. RAY: (to Ian, suspiciously) You have a car. IAN: I have a car. EXT. A FOUR LANE HIGHWAY -- LATER Traffic moving out of the city. Pick up on IAN'S BUS, a pathetically bizarre looking vehicle moving through traffic. Imagine the Merry Prankster's Magic Bus, with a twenty foot tin rocket mounted on the roof, and you'll get the idea. IAN (V.O.): Well, what do you think? INT. IAN'S BUS And now we see the bus is really a converted school bus, the small 12 seat kind. Ian is at the wheel, Fraser and Ray sit the seats behind him. The windows are STEAMED from the cold outside. Can't see a thing out there. IAN: It's on loan from NASA. Their space shuttle program is in financial trouble, they had to make a choice... FRASER: Very roomy. A little old man, call him MURRAY, leans over from the seat behind. MURRAY: (to Ray) Do you mind? There's a draft. Bad for the lumbago. Ray stands reluctantly. They switch seats. RAY: (to Ian) There your "A" List clients? REVEAL A group of five ELDERLY CANADIAN TOURISTS sitting patiently in the seats behind them. ENID and EDNA, two sexagenarian sisters. NORMAN and BETTY, a retired couple. All smiles. Except MURRAY, who hunches himself tighter into his sweater. IAN: Just because a person's old doesn't mean he can't have an open mind and a desire to explore the unknown. Besides, with compound interest a person's net worth by age sixty-five is a remarkable thing. Grey Power. You would do well to remember that. Betty and Norman smile at Fraser. Norman is referring to a BROCHURE. NORMAN: Who needs Myrtle Beach when you have the opportunity of a lifetime? (holds up the brochure) We took one look at this brochure and said to ourselves, if we walk to the market instead of taking a taxi, eat a little less on Fridays, buy wholesale we can have this. BETTY: Why sit home watching Donahue and hear about someone else's sighting when you have a chance to get off the couch and see one for yourself. FRASER: Do you mind? Norman hands him the brochure. BETTY: A close encounter. It's guaranteed in the brochure. Ian turns to Fraser with a guilty look. IAN: There are many kinds of close encounter. FRASER: Apparently. Ray takes the brochure from Fraser. Reads. RAY: (reads) See Base 24, the home of Hanger 57, the US government's top secret UFO intelligence operation. Tour the base. Meet the aliens. Take a ride on a real flying saucer. (to Ian) You're charging these people for this? IAN: With a money back guarantee. RAY: What a line of bull. NORMAN: The best part is the Skywatch. IAN: Hundreds of ships from other planets gather in a spectacular display of interplanetary precision flying. BETTY: Norman flew in the war. NORMAN: Now, dear... BETTY: And our son is a pilot. It's been a long time since I've seen him. FRASER: I'm sure he's very busy. BETTY: I miss him. CUT TO: Enid and Edna opening up a packed picnic HAMPER. Dief eyes the brimming basket with envy. Enid notices and sneaks him a cookie. ENID: Such a nice doggy. Dief BARKS. FRASER: He's a wolf, actually. (pointedly to Dief) And he's on a diet. Dief tires to nose his way into the lunch hamper. FRASER (CONT'D): (turning Dief's head so he can see his lips) That's enough. Edna rescues a plate of cold fired chicken out of the hamper. She could easily offer it to Fraser or Enid, but she turns instead to Murray. EDNA: A nice piece of fried chicken, Mr. Glassman? MURRAY: Gives me heartburn. ENID: (leans in, to Edna) I told you you should have made boiled. (pulls out a package, to Murray) Rump roast? She flashes Murray her best smile. MURRAY: Allergic. EDNA: (primly, to Enid) Shameless. Ian puts on his official UFO tour guide hat. A baseball cap with a saucer stuck on top. Grabs a MICROPHONE, tests it. IAN: (to the group) Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your left, you'll see we're passing through Jackson. In 1983, right there where the mini-mall now sits, I witnessed a spaceship suck the mil out of an entire herd of cows. EXT. THE ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS As it veers off the main highway and onto a more rural two lane blacktop. As the van passes, FIND a billboard. It announces the town of ROSEWELL, ILLINOIS. Pop. 1280. EXT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- DAY RELATIVELY CLOSE on a FLYING SAUCER. Not a very convincing one. In fact, it's a homemade jerry rig. It's paint is chipped and its dome cracked. PAINTBRUSH slaps down on a fin, slathering it in fresh red paint. PULL BACK TO REVEAL Ian's van in the parking lot of the motel. The Five seniors are heading off the bus and walking into the motel. IAN: Meet in the mission room for a briefing at 1500 hours. The group ad lib goodbyes as they disappear. WITH ENID AND EDNA Edna looks back over her shoulder at Fraser. EDNA: Such a nice boy. ENID: I love his dog. ON THE ROOF OF THE MOTEL A WORKMAN, we'll come to know him as Bob, is on the roof of the front desk building giving the saucer a fresh coat of paint. On the front lawn of the motel, a back lit sign reads "Welcome Fellow Travellers". RAY: Fellow travellers? IAN: UFO ologists. Hundreds of them. Thousands. The Woodstock of Psychic Fairs. This is where they all meet. It's world famous, the Constellation. Mick stays here when the Stones are touring. And it's where Audrey and I first met. Ian takes out his room key and beings to walk. Fraser and Ray fall in behind. Diefenbaker hesitates, watching Bob, then follows. As they walk past the row of room doors, Ray surveys the motel and its obvious implications. RAY: This where you and Audrey had "coffee"? IAN: That's my fiance you're talking about. RAY: Oh, forgive me. FRASER: Ray... IAN: It was terrible. The look on her face as the aliens tore her out of my arms. I fought like a wild man. But what do you say to a space suit waving a laser nerve disrupter in your face? RAY: Beam me up? ` FRASER: Ray... Ian suddenly wheels on Ray, fed up. IAN: (agitated) Hey this is about the woman I love, okay? So I would appreciate it if you would keep your mind on the job and your sarcasm to yourself. Got it?? Ray reacts, taken aback. Ian is obviously, perhaps for the first time ever, completely sincere. RAY: Okay, okay. ANGLE ON The door to Room Six -- the same door we saw in the prologue. The hinges have been repaired. A "Do Not Disturb" sign hangs on the door. Ian lifts it off and pulls out his room key. IAN: I've preserved the chain of evidence. (to Ray) Try not to screw it up. INT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- ROOM SIX SFX a KEY RUSTLING then the door swings open, illuminating the dark room. Ian steps through the door, turns on the light as Fraser and Ray floor in after him. IAN'S POV The room is perfectly clean and orderly. No sign of Ian's former occupancy, no sign of any disturbance whatsoever. BACK TO SCENE RAY: Evidence? CUT TO: EXT. A TREE LINE ROAD -- CONTINUOUS With a good view of Ian's room. A WHITE JEEP CHEROKEE sits idling on the rough trail. TINTED windows hit it's occupants. The voices we HEAR are odd, a little distorted. VOICE (V.O.): We found him, but he's not alone. VOICE #2 (V.O.): (radio filter) Continue surveillance. Don't let them out of your sight. FADE OUT: END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO INT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- ROOM SIX -- DAY Fraser investigating the room. Paying close attention to the dresser when Ian bumped his head. IAN: Right here. Blood everywhere, the walls, the ceiling, rivers of it. Fraser regards the cut on Ian's forehead, studies the dresser. FRASER; Well I doubt that. However, even if the room had been scoured clean there would still be a crack in the finish and the particle board would have soaked up traces of blood. This dresser has been replaced. Diefenbaker noses around in a bag of junk food left half open on a low table. Fraser spots him. FRASER: That could be evidence, mister. Diefenbaker reluctantly withdraws his nose from the bag. FRASER: Incorrigible. Fraser stands and walks towards the door. He passes Ray, who is on the phone. RAY: A taxi. To Chicago... Chicago. I know it's sixty miles. I know it's a long trip. Yes I have money... Tomorrow? EXT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- ROOM SIX -- DAY Fraser inspects the seamlessly repaired door jamb as Ian looks on. FRASER: Kicked in? IAN: Right off it's hinges. Must have used their antigravity boots. FRASER: Hmmm. Ray appears in the door behind them. RAY: (sarcastically) They took the yellow pages too. Ray pushes past them and strides up the sidewalk to the front of the motel. Fraser and Ian follow. FRASER: (to Ray) The dresser has been replaced and the door jamb has been painted and repaired. RAY: I'm not listening. Because every time I listen he says stupid things and you back him up. IAN: Damn aliens took my stuff. My blaupunkt audio system, the whole closet full of Versace -- you would think that higher life forms would have a more developed code of ethics. (off Ray's look) Wouldn't you? As they pass the front desk building, Ray locates a phone booth near the door, steps in and starts searching the phone book. Fraser notices Bob, the caretaker we saw earlier, sitting on the roof painting the saucer. Fraser stops and addresses Bob. FRASER: Excuse me, sir. Did you happen to notice anyone entering room six in the last-(turns to Ian) IAN: Fifteen and a half hours. Bob, without giving them so much as a glance, keeps painting BOB: Yup. FRASER: Could you describe what you saw? BOB: Yup. A beat. Bob keeps painting. FRASER: Could you describe it now? Bob sighs, puts down his paintbrush and looks down on them suspiciously. BOB: Don't tell me. CIA, right? FRASER: No. Actually, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. (extends his hand) Constable Benton Fraser. BOB: (introducing himself) Bob. (skeptical) Where's your horse? FRASER: (thrown) Well, I don't have one. (as Dief moves in) I do have a wolf, if that helps any. BOB: (considers) You ride him? FRASER: (looks to Dief, then) No. He's deaf. Bob nods. For some reason this seems to satisfy him. He climbs down off the roof. BOB: Two guys. Pulled up in a Ford Explorer around six a.m. (off spaceship model)I was waiting for the primer to dry. Went to get a cup of coffee. Couldn't have been gone twenty minutes. I came back, place was clean, nothing missing. Why make a fuss. Ray overhears this and steps out of the booth. RAY: (to Fraser) Finally, a reasonable explanation. (to Bob) Are you the owner? BOB: No. RAY: The caretaker? BOB: No. RAY: So what do you do? BOB: (indicates model) I build ships. When this one's finished she'll be an exact replica. FRASER: Of...? BOB: (quietly) The one in my basement. A beat. RAY: (sarcastic) Well, glad I asked. Disgusted, Ray pushes into the door of the motel lobby. As Fraser and Ian follow. FRASER: Thank you kindly. IAN: (to Ray) This guy's a material witness. Shouldn't we be putting him in protective custody. Bob watches them go, suspiciously. INT. CONSTELLATION MOTEL -- LOBBY -- DAY As they follow Ray in. IAN: Okay, two aliens in a Bronco, simple explanation: They're exerting mindcontrol over the Ford Motor Company and using them to cover their tracks. During the following, Bob lurks outside the glass window making a pretense of sweeping the walk, while watching them. Fraser, aware of this, watches back. He also notices that Diefenbaker has remained outside with Bob. FRASER'S POV Over Bob's shoulder. The white Jeep Cherokee rolling slowly past the motel and then accelerating away down the road. BACK TO SCENE Fraser looks to Bob, who smiles knowingly. Ray arrives at the front desk. JANE, the manager, greets him with a smile. RAY: How do I get out of this town? JANE Left at the corner. RAY: I don't have a car. JANE: Then you have a problem. RAY: Okay. There a car rental agency? JANE: Apollo 13 Rentals? RAY: What about a bus? JANE: Last one went through an hour ago. RAY: The space shuttle scheduled to go over anytime soon? JANE: Ask Bob. RAY: I'd rather hitchhike. Ray turns to go, Fraser stops him, pulls him aside. RAY: Mind control over the Ford Motor Company? FRASER: While on the surface it does seem a bit far fetched... RAY: Fraser, we are talking about a man who lies with a skill equaled only by used car salesmen and Presidents. FRASER: Ignore facts and you ignore the truth. Fact: we now have a witness who can corroberate strange activity at Ian's room this morning. RAY: Yeah and if we asked him he could probably tell us who killed Kennedy and where Hoffa is. He probably thinks the little green men in his basement did it. FRASER: Do you really think so? RAY: (off Fraser's look) Fine. If I hear just one truth out of this man's mouth, I'll stay. That's the best I can do. FRASER: Fair enough. Ray turns back to Jane. RAY: What about food. Can you manage that? JANE: Try the bar. RAY: (to Fraser) You have however long it takes me to swallow a burger. As they head for the doorway to the bar. IAN: Great. This place is four star. Best calamari in the tri-state area. people come from all over just to try it. BYRON walks by on his way to the bar. GROWLS. RAY: (to Ian) Friend of yours? And they follow him into the bar. JANE: (calling after them) Ian, your group's waiting. IAN: Give them some coffee and donuts and load them on the bus for me, will you? INT. ROCKET MAN BAR -- CONTINUOUS They enter. Ray and Fraser can't help but stop and stare. IAN: Audrey and I had our engagement party here. It was quite an event. THEIR POV Space themed DECORATION on the walls and ceiling. A few tables throughout the room selling SKYWATCH SOUVENIRS and other UFO KITSCH. Most of the PATRONS appear to be quite normal, but a few are decked out in full alien regalia. As Fraser, Ray and Ian enter, a particularly EXOTIC alien passes Ray-- FRASER: (to Ian) Was there anyone here you recognize from last night? Ian looks around. IAN: It's hard to say. All I could see was Audrey. FRASER: There may have been other witnesses. Ray snatches a MENU from the top of the bar. RAY: Yeah, maybe the amazon woman from Mars can tell us something.(reading the menu) You got anything other than the Skywatch Burger? AT THE BAR STELLA the BARTENDER approaches him. She's a tall blonde dressed in a short, shiny skirt with high boots and an apron. STELLA: You're not from around here are you. RAY: Not unless there are aliens that look like second generation immigrants. IAN: I remember you. You were behind the bar last night. STELLA: And the night before that and the one before that. (she takes a studied look at Fraser) Haven't seen you before. FRASER: If Ian saw you here last evening it's quite possible you might remember him as well. STELLA: Why not ask him? RAY: It's a long story. STELLA: Sure. He was here last night. RAY: (off menu)I'll have a-- (realizes)What? FRASER: The young lady was just saying that-- RAY: I heard, okay. STELLA: He sat two seats from the end. (to Ian) You were with Audrey McKenna, right? IAN (taken aback) Yes, Audrey. (to Fraser and Ray, proving) Audrey McKenna. STELLA: You had a beer, she had Cosmopolitans. Two. (to Fraser and Ray) Audrey never has more than one. Must have been a big night. She winks at Ian. Ray is starting to get into this. RAY: Wait -- you actually saw this man with the woman he claims to have been with. And she actually spoke to him. Nicely. STELLA: (to Fraser)Isn't he a quick one. FRASER: Would you happen to know where we could find Ms. McKenna? STELLA: She's not a townie. Never talked about herself, or where she worked. Which probably means she works at the base. IAN: She works at the base? Audrey works at the base? RAY: This fact did not come up? I give up my lunch hour, come out here to Nutville USA, check out this cockamamie story and canvass suspected aliens only to have the amazon lady here tell us that Audrey works on the base which you know nothing about. IAN: I knew everything I needed to about Audrey. RAY: Yeah, like what? IAN: Like the important stuff. Like who she was inside. I didn't have to ask a bunch of stupid questions, I just looked at her and I knew her. In here. (indicates his heart) I always have. Stella is touched to the core. STELLA: God, that's beautiful. IAN: Thank you. RAY: So how long did you know her? IAN: I don't know. I came into the bar at nine-thirty, she came in about ten. RAY: You met her last night?? IAN: It only takes a moment, okay? My mother always said that. STELLA: I thought it was Barbara Streisand. IAN: So you've met my mother. Wait till you hear her next album. Killer. Ray turns to Fraser, getting up. RAY: That's it, we're going home. IAN: No, we can't go! I made a promise. RAY: Yes we know, and she said yes and her eyes lit up and you'll go on to live happily ever after. IAN: No. I made a promise to my mother. Fraser and Ray are caught off guard. IAN: She gave me the ring before she died. I promised her that I would give it to the woman I love and care for. A woman that I would be true to for the rest of my life. Not like my father. I have to find Audrey. Fraser and Ray have uncomfortable moment. FRASER: We should go to the base. RAY: A U.S. Army base? They don't like it when civilians go snooping around their back yard. They tend to respond with heavy ordinance. IAN: No problem. I'll show them the pass card I got from Desert Storm. FRASER: (to Stella) The base? STELLA: There's only one. Five miles up the road. Fraser turns to Ray, appealing. FRASER He made a promise, Ray. To his mother. IAN: They were the last words she heard. RAY: Okay, Okay. (to Ian) You get an extension. He drops the menu and starts to walk out. IAN: Till when? RAY: Until I change my mind. Ian and Fraser follow. FRASER: Fair enough. (calling back to Stella) Thank you kindly. INT. IAN'S BUS -- DAY Ian closes the bus doors behind him as he gets in. CLOSE ON AN EIGHT TRACK MACHINE Ian reaches down and shoves a new age music tape into it. We HEAR EERIE MUSIC aver the sound system. IAN: Nineteen eighty four. Tuesday, Ten pm. A red blip appears on the screen of the Illinois weather tracking station. At first the radar technician thinks it's an aircraft but when the blip splits into four and heads off into separate directions he knows something's amiss. All the seniors are safely seated as Ian gets behind the wheel. Ray looks around him. RAY: (listening to Ian) Why am I already regretting this decision? FRASER: I can't imagine. RAY: We don't even know what she looks like. Ian, having overheard, interrupts his story, pulls down his visor and takes out some black and white strip photos. He hands them to Fraser and Ray. IAN: Our engagement photos. RAY: These were taken in a dollar photo booth. IAN: Of course. But after what happened with her brother and Princess Di, Audrey's family didn't want to risk the tabloids getting hold of them. Ray rolls his eyes. Ian stars the engine and the van surges out of the parking lot. EXT. IAN'S BUS -- CONTINUOUS As it pulls out onto the two lane road. IAN (O.S.): By the time NORAD picks up the mysterious signals, hundreds of fighter aircraft have been scrambled. A moment later, a White jeep Cherokee pulls and follows them at a safe distance. EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY -- LATER IAN (O.S.): Ten fifteen on Sam Norburt's farm, lights cf green, red and blue descend and circle his barn. INT. ROCKET VAN -- AFTERNOON Ian speaks dramatically into the microphone. IAN: Within minutes, hundreds of calls flood the Evanston police department. Our men in blue swing into action. The group look to Ray and give a nod of approval. Ray shoots Ian a dirty look. IAN: Squad cars are sent out scattered all over the city responding to reports of sightings. Sightings of unidentified flying objects. To your immediate right is where the first reported landing took place. Just beyond the trees. Fraser and Ray, along with the five Seniors, look. THEIR POV Trees. A dense forest of them. Can't see a thing. BACK TO SCENE MURRAY snaps a picture. Ray throws Fraser a look. RAY: How do you feel belonging to the same gene pool? FRASER: It's their prerogative, their choice to believe what they want to. RAY: He's bilking them. FRASER: They don't look unhappy. RAY: (to Ian) When does the real estate scam kick in? IAN: These people are from the Sunset Retirement Home. Murray, he hasn't been out of his bathrobe in seven years. (calling back) Right, Mur? MURRAY: Eight. (to Fraser) Angina. EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY -- AFTERNOON The Rocket van passes another sign, ROSEWELL MILITARY BASE --RESTRICTED AREA. NO PHOTOGRAPHY ALLOWED. INT. ROCKET VAN - TRAVELING Murray snaps a picture of the sign. ENID: You're a risk taker. EDNA: I love a man who lives on the edge. ENID: (to her sister, quietly) Flatterer. Norman focuses his binoculars through the front windshield. NORMAN: There it is. I can read the sign. Restricted area. No entry. Use of deadly force authorized. BETTY: This is so exciting. Ray can see the SECURITY GATE coming up. RAY: Let me handle this. I'm a professional. EXT. ROSEWELL BASE -- SECURITY BOOTH -- DAY The van pulls up to the small SENTRY BOOTH. On either side of it stretching into the distance an imposing fence to keep out all but the most persistent. Ian sticks his head out of the Rocket van before Ray can speak. IAN: Hi, how are you today. A VOICE barks from the speaker, below the security camera on a tall pole. SECURITY GUARD (V.O.) State your business. IAN: Is that Brad. Brad Wilson? It's me Ian MacDonald. Second battalion, Fort Bragg. INT. SECURITY BUILDING -- CONTINUOUS Two M.P.'s look at each other perplexed. See Ian on the VIDEO SURVEILLANCE MONITORS. The TEAM LEADER steps up and takes the mic. TEAM LEADER: This is not Brad Wilson. If you don't clearly state your business we will enforce military law. IAN: (on monitor) I'm looking for my fiance, Audrey McKenna. The guards recognize the name. Share a glance. TEAM LEADER: There's no one here by that name. EXT. SECURITY BOOTH -- CONTINUOUS Ian is speaking into the mic. IAN: She told me to pick her up at the front gate. Four o'clock. Just tell her I'm here, okay. TEAM LEADER (O.S.): Please turn your vehicle around. INT. ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS IAN: Sure. No problem. Saying that, Ian takes his foot off the brake and slowly begins to inch his way forward. The security BAR across the gate bends under the van's forward pressure. INT. SECURITY BOOTH -- CONTINUOUS On the monitor the Rocket Van is seen BREAKING THROUGH the security bar. One guard operates a joystick, keeping the Van is sight. The Team Leader reaches for his radio. TEAM LEADER: We have a security breach at Gate two. Security breech at Gate two. A school bus with a...rocket on top. INT. ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS FRASER: Excuse me Ian, but I don't think that... RAY: Stop the bus, Ian. Ian revs the engine a little higher and the security bar gives way completely. RAY: Stop the damn bus, Ian. IAN: (yelling into the speaker) Audrey! Fraser moves forward and wrenches the wheel from Ian, trying to step on the brake. Ian fights him, but it's a losing battle and Fraser quickly brings the bus to a stop. The VOICE booms out of the speakers. TEAM LEADER (O.S.): Stop now! Everyone out cf the bus and place your hands above your heads. You are all under arrest. Just then, a convoy of white jeep Cherokees comes charging over the hill. RAY: We've got company. They all pile out of the bus. The seniors are quite agitated FRASER: Everyone stay calm and do what they say. A dozen SOLDIERS leap out on the run, guns trained on them. RAY: (to Ian) You keep talking. (to Fraser) With any luck they'll shoot him. FADE OUT: END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE EXT. ROSEWELL BASE -- SECURITY BOOTH -- MOMENTS LATER Fraser, Dief, Ray, Ian and the Seniors are lined up in front of the bus with their hands high in the air. They are surrounded by SOLDIERS with guns pointed at their chests. FRASER: Good afternoon. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, this is my wolf Diefenbaker, and these are, from my left, Miss Enid Blodgett, Miss Edna Blodgett-- Fraser steps out of line to indicate them, and instantly ALL RIFLES CLICK INTO FIRING POSITION. FRASER: (stepping back, hands up) Understood. TEAM LEADER: This is a maximum security military base. What part of "don't move" didn't you understand? IAN: (to Team Leader) Brad, you've changed, man. I mean, we were Semper Fi, compadres, we swore we'd go down together. Ray steps out. PAY: (to Team Leader, re: Ian) Excuse me, could you please shoot him? A SOLDIER reacts, moving in on Ray. SOLDIER #1: In line! Ray badges hi,. RAY: Back off GI Joe this is an official police investigation. FRASER: (interceding) Perhaps I can explain. This gentleman's fiance, we understand, is, or once was, an employee of this base. We are hoping that someone here can shed light on her sudden disappearance. NORMAN: Yes, take us to your leader. The Team Leader considers. TEAM LEADER: Take them. (meaning Fraser, Ray and Ian) Leave two men to watch the rest. The orders are carried out as Fraser and Ray and Ian are roughly taken to the waiting Jeeps. They drive off leaving the group and Diefenbaker watching after them. Betty turns to the soldier who is escorting her. BETTY: Have you seen my son? He was a pilot you know. SOLDIER #1: No Ma'am. INT. ROSEWELL BASE -- COL. SHANK'S OFFICER -- LATER A simple neat office housed in a quonset hut type bunker (or whatever works.) Furnishings would be better than average, this being the commanding officer's domain. Colonel Shank, 40's, considers Ray, Fraser and Ian who stand with the Team Leader. COLONEL: (chuckles) Aliens. (to Ian) Well, Mr. McDonald, if your fiance was abducted by creatures from outer space, I'm afraid I can't give you much comfort. This base is army, plain and simple. Not withstanding your brochure. IAN: You want ta chuckle? Fine. What about Audrey. Does she work here or not? COLONEL: She's your fiance. I would think you would know. (turning to Team Leader) Lieutenant? * The Team Leader looks a little uncomfortable at being dragged into this. TEAM LEADER: There is no Audrey McKenna listed on our personnel roster, Sir. I checked ail computer entries going back ten years. RAY: (aside ta Fraser) What a shock. COLONEL: Sorry we can't help you, Detective. RAY: No problem, Colonel. Sorry for the intrusion. Ray starts to leave. FRASER: (to Team Leader) It's possible your personnel roster is incorrect or out of date. Fraser produces the photo strip of pictures from inside the brim of his hat. FRASER: Do you recognize this woman. Perhaps by a different name? The Colonel reaches out and takes the picture from Fraser. The Team Leader reacts briefly when he sees it, then covers. COLONEL: Afraid we still can't help you. (regarding the picture) She's a very beautiful girl. He hands the picture back to Fraser. COLONEL: (to Ian) You two make a very happy couple. I hope you find her. IAN : Why don't you just show me where she is then. FRASER: Thank you, Colonel. Fraser and Ray turn to go. IAN: You believe him? FRASER: The Colonel has given us enough of his time already, Ian. But Ian isn't through yet. IAN: (to Fraser, Ray) What's the matter with you guys? You don't know a coverup when you see one? You think aliens can just drop down out of the sky and snatch people from their loved ones without at least the tacit consent of the armed forces, including our Commander In Chief, the President of the United States?? Ray walks calmly back, grabs Ian by the ear and starts hauling him out. RAY: (to Colonel) We'll be going now. FRASER: Thank you kindly. Fraser hurries out after Ray and Ian. The Team Leader nods to SOLDIER #2 at the door to escort them, and closes the door after them. He turns back to the Colonel who has picked up the phone and is dialing. TEAM LEADER: Would you like me to continue surveillance, sir? COLONEL: Yes. Keep an eye on them until they leave town. (into phone) Get me the lab. CUT TO: EXT. ROSEWELL MILITARY BASE -- HANGAR -- MOMENTS LATER Fraser, Ray and Ian being escorted off the base. They walk past a building that is isolated from the rest. This is Hangar Fifty-Seven. FRASER : (to Ray, quietly) They know her. Or know who she is. RAY : The junior officer? I thought so too.... the eyes, right? Just before he talked about Audrey, he looked away. When a suspect throws you that move in an interrogation, ten times out of ten, he's lying. FRASER: He did seem uncomfortable at the sight of the pictures. RAY: What about the Colonel? The Colonel never blinked. FRASER: He did hold his gaze remarkably firm. RAY: But he's in on it too. FRASER: Yes. RAY: Sweat? FRASER: No. RAY: Shallow breathing? FRASER: No. RAY: Dilated pupils? FRASER: Not so I noticed. RAY: What then? FRASER: His table top. RAY: I beg your pardon? FRASER: His table top. Audrey McKenna's file was on his desk. WITH IAN : scanning the area as they walk. He notices something. IAN'S POV A jeep pulls up beside hangar Fifty-Seven. A PARKA clad figure steps out of a door and heads for the jeep. The Team Leader gets out to open the passenger door and the figure gets in. BACK TO SCENE Ian stops. Fraser notices. RAY: What? This gets the guards attention. THE JEEP Pulls away from hangar fifty-seven. As it speeds away from the building, Ian sees Audrey's red Toyota Carmy parked in one of the executive parking spots against the wall. Ian watches the jeep speed away. IAN: That's her car. That's Audrey's car. RAY: It's a red Toyota, there's thousands of them. Come on. IAN: Sure, you're right. What was I thinking. Having said that, Ian turns and sprints back towards the Colonel's Office. FRASER AND RAY Take off in hot pursuit. SOLDIER #2: (pulls out a walkie talkie) The kid with the rocket is on loose again. WITH IAN Racing between buildings he sees a TROOP CARRIER heading for him. He looks over his shoulder, sees he's being chased, so he LEAPS up onto the side of the troop carrier. WITH FRASER AND RAY Running. THEIR POV The troop carrier bearing Ian disappears around a corner and out of sight. A WHITE JEEP CHEROKEE Pulls up to Fraser and Ray and slows. SOLDIER #3: Get in. INT. ROSEWELL BASE -- A HALLWAY -- MOMENTS LATER Ian is propelled forward by two SOLDIERS. IAN: I demand you take me to the Colonel's office. Because when my grandfather, Admiral Nimitz, hears about this -- you don't mess with a guy who has a battleship named after him, you know... INT. ROSEWELL BASE -- COLONEL SHANK'S OFFICE -- DAY The doors burst open and the soldiers propel Ian through the entrance from the hall. Ian stops dead in his tracks. IAN'S POV Colonel Shank and, with her back to him, the parkaed figure who he has been chasing across the base. BACK TO SCENE IAN: Audrey. Finally... He reaches out to turn her around and she jumps back from her touch. SPECIALIST: Take your hands off me. REVEAL A young blonde RESEARCH SPECIALIST. [Note: This girl should bear a passing resemblance to Audrey] Ian stares at her, astonished. IAN: Where's Audrey? (looking around) Audrey! AT THE DOOR Fraser and Ray appear. Ray sees the girl and throws a look at Fraser. BACK TO SCENE COLONEL: Your friend seems to think that Specialist Johnson is this person Audrey. In fact he chased her half way across this base, endangering himself and members of my command. (to Specialist) Do you know this man? SPECIALIST: No, sir. COLONEL: Have you ever seen him before today? SPECIALIST: No, sir. COLONEL: Thank you. (to the boys) If you don't mind, my assistant and I have to get back to these reports. Shank indicates a pile on his desk. Fraser and Ray turn for the door. COLONEL: And gentlmen? (Fraser and Ray turn) If I ever see you or your friend back on this base, no matter how good the reason, I will arrest you, call both of your superior officers and make sure that traffic duty is all either of you see for a very, very long time. FRASER: Understood. RAY: Come on, Ian. IAN: It was her. I know it. (defensive) It's true. Fraser and Ray stay silent. IAN: (shaking his head) Boy, you two really will buy anything. Ian pushes past them and out of the room. COLONEL: (to Fraser and Ray) Gentlemen. FRASER: Colonel. They exit. After a moment, the Colonel opens a side door and Audrey enters. The specialist hands Audrey back the parka and exits. COLONEL: (to Audrey) You have put this project in jeopardy. I can't allow that. END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR EXT. SKYWATCH FLATS -- NIGHT CLOSE ON A blanket of stars. BETTY (O.S.): I wonder if that's them. MURRAY (O.S.): Where? BETTY (O.S.): The little twinkling light. I think it's coming toward us. CUT TO REVEAL The five Seniors camped out on lawn chairs. Diefenbaker sits beside them, also looking up at the sky. Bob, shuttles back and forth in the background, passing a METAL DETECTOR over the ground. The seniors are wrapped in blankets against the cold and have gas heaters and thermos's of coffee, obviously prepared for a long night's vigil. Enid and Edna are sit in chairs on either side of Murray, as they all look up studying the night sky. Norman, next to his wife, Betty, pat's her hand comfortingly. NORMAN: Could be, dear. Could be. EDNA: Is it shaped like a f lying saucer? ENID: Don't be silly, Enid, saucers were just made up. It'll look like the shuttle -- a plane, with rocket boosters. BETTY: (encouraged) You think so? My son flies planes. NORMAN: (to Betty, carefully) Not anymore, dear. (to others) He died. In the war. BETTY: That's what they said. (looking up) I think he's up there. With them. Edna turns to Murray, in an attempt to ingratiate herself. EDNA: What do you think, Mr. Glassman. MURRAY: I think this chair is killing me. EDNA / ENID: (quickly) Take mine. As they quibble over who will move where, PAN OVER AND FIND Fraser and Ian camped out on a blanket around one of the GAS HEATERS. Ray is half asleep, his hat pulled down aver his eyes. Ian is un characteristically somber as he looks up a the same curtain of stars. IAN : It's a star. A burned out rock. (glances at the Seniors) You would think that when people get to a certain age they would stop kidding themselves. Fraser pours some cups of hot tea from a thermos and passes them to Ray and Ian. RAY: I knew that story of yours was all malarky. IAN: It wasn't. FRASER: Ray, Audrey McKenna is on that base and no one will admit it. Aren't you even a little bit curious about why? Ian is silent. RAY : Look, this girl hasn't been kidnapped by aliens or anyone else, she's on that base and she clearly doesn't want to be found, especially by you. IAN: You're wrong about that my friend. RAY: I am not wrong, you are not my friend and this is all in your head. Has been from the beginning. IAN: No. She made a big mistake, man. When she realizes what she gave up she'll run right back into my arms... RAY: Okay, that's it -- time for a wake up call. IAN: You think she's not crying her eyes out right now? RAY: Not unless she's cutting onions. IAN : You're cold, man. Very cold. FRASER: Ray... RAY: Hey, the sooner he faces facts, the better. (to Ian) Look kid, you're not the first guy to get taken to the cleaners... FRASER: What Ray means is -- RAY: A girl sees a guy in a bar, namely you, and she's got maybe half an hour to kill. You're not exactly the best looking guy in the world, but compared to the locals you're Brad Pitt, so she bats her eyelashes, gets you into bed and after your fifteen minutes are up she grabs the ring as a souvenir on her way out the door. Not a goodbye, not a wave, not a handshake. Nothing. It happens. We've all been there, we all know the drill. Ian just stares at him, stunned -- like he isn't familiar with this drill at all. IAN: (covering) Yeah. Right. I guess I forgot. She's probably far away by now. She doesn't want to see me... I should just forget about her. FRASER: Do you think so? RAY: Finally. That's the first sensible thing that's come out of his mouth. Ian is silent. Then he gets up and moves to the Rocket van. Fraser stares at Ray for a long beat. FRASER: Well, that was very helpful, Ray. Thank you. Fraser follows Ian towards the van where Ian begins angrily stuffing spare blankets and lawn chairs back into the rocket van. He's packing up. FRASER: That's it then? IAN: You heard him. FRASER: Yes, I did. IAN: He's right. I'm an idiot. I know a girl for five minutes, ask her to marry me and give her my mother's ring. Just like that. FRASER: So you said. IAN: My mother wore that ring for thirty-five years. She never took it off until the day she died and I gave it away for nothing. FRASER: Well, it's true that it may be for nothing, but then again it may not be and how will you know if you don't find Audrey and let her tell you herself? IAN She told me! FRASER: While aliens were kidnapping her? IAN (accusingly) And what happens if the answer is no? Ian slams the rear door shut, stalks around the rocket van and gets into the drivers seat. Fraser follows him and waits at the window. Ian starts the engine and fires up the heater. FRASER: I know you're afraid to find out Ian, but do you want Audrey to spend her life wondering if the person who gave her that ring is in love with her? Shouldn't she know? (off Ian's look) Perhaps we should go back to the gate house and I'm sure that with the right... Fraser has started to walk away f rom the van. Ian makes a choice, presses the accelrator and the van jumps forward. Fraser runs alongside the van, looking for a handhold. FRASER: Ian? IAN: (calling back) Thanks, Fraser! Ian guns the van forward. He's heading straight for the perimeter FENCE of the military base. FRASER: Ian! WITH RAY WATCHING RAY: (seeing this) Oh, God. BACK TO SCENE Fraser slows his pace until the van passes him and then speeds up and leaps on to the back of the van. NEAR THE FENCE Fraser manages to haul himself up onto the rear step. INT. ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS Ian driving for all he's worth. EXT. ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON FRASER His head pops up over the back end of the bus. He turns, looks: FRASER'S POV He sees they are headed for the perimeter fence. The bus smashes through the fence, bouncing across the snow covered ground as it goes. FRASER: ...The gate. WITH RAY WATCHING He makes a decision, races after them. ANGLE -- THE SENIORS Each with a steaming CUP of tea or hot cocoa. NORMAN: They're going to miss the Skywatch. Diefenbaker arrives and nuzzles up to Enid, who feeds him a biscuit, pats him. ENID: Such a good eater. EDNA: (to Mr. Glassman, sweetly) Do you like dogs? MURRAY: Fur. Gives me hives. During this, Betty has moved away form the group and stands beside Bob at the edge of the light. She is looking earnestly up into the night sky. She sees something. BETTY: (to herself) Son...? CLOSE On Betty's cup of tea. It slips out of her hand and falls to the ground. EXT. ROSEWELL MILITARY BASE -- CONTINUOUS A klaxon BLARES an alert. ANGLE Down a broad row of hangars and administrative buildin Silence. Then we HEAR the rocket van. IT SCREECHES Around a corner and heads straight for us, Fraser making his way along the roof of the bus. FROM ABOVE AND BEHIND A military helicopter swoops down and starts to follow the van. The two vehicles weave in and out of buildings (in a sequence by Larry and Ken) FRASER: (As he approaches a low overhead wire) Look out! Ian swerves and takes a sharp left. The helicopter responds by taking a sharp turn right and disappearing up out of sight... WITH FRASER AND IAN Both looking for the helicopter. INT. ROCKET VAN -- CONTINUOUS Ian also scanning the buildings flashing by his window. EXT. ROSEWELL -- CONTINUOUS The rocket van comes around a corner and comes face to face with a HOVERING military helicopter. The same one as before. Ian heads straight for it. A collision is imminent. Fraser has made his way to the front and he can see Ian through the window. FRASER: Ian you should... Ian slams on the brakes. FRASER: ... Stop Sending Fraser firing off the rocket through the air. He lands and recovers in enough time to see: IAN : Sprint towards Hangar Fifty-Seven. A SOLDIER flies out the door, passing Ian who grabs it before it closes and runs inside. BACK TO SCENE Fraser dashes into the hangar after Ian. A beat later, FOUR WHITE JEEP CHEROKEES appear, from all directions and suddenly converge on the hangar. INT. HANGAR FIFTY-SEVEN -- A HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS Ian running through hallways. A SCIENTIST steps out of his office door -- Ian can't stop and crashes into him. IAN: Gerry. Imagine running into you here. Can't stay to chat... Ian turns and takes off down the hall, but not before palming the SECURITY CARD the scientist dropped coming out the door. The Scientist notices is its gone, picks up a phone, begins to punch in numbers. A beat later, Fraser comes running past him. FRASER: (as he passes) Excuse me. I'm looking for... Somewhere in the building an ALARM goes off. FRASER: Ah, there he is. Fraser runs off. INT. HANGAR FIFTY-SEVEN -- HANGAR AREA -- CONTINUOUS Full of helicopters. At one end, a large doorway into what is obviously the brains of the building: a large modern room full of fantastic high-tech EQUIPMENT. This is the Control Room. A SCIENTIST looks up from a radar grid. SCIENTIST: Okay, I've got something coming up here. This could be it. Audrey turns toward him. AUDREY: Let's hope it's not another weather balloon. They study it for a brief second. SCIENTIST: No. Looks like the real thing. AUDREY: We have contact. Let's get ready people. TECHNICIAN: Seven miles and closing. AUDREY: Tracking craft to failsafe boundry markers. CUT TO: INT. HANGAR FIFTY-SEVEN -- CONTINUOUS Ray, being led towards a large fenced in area by two SOLDIERS. SOLDIER. #1: You'll have to speak to the Colonel, sir. RAY: He's about five-ten, one sixty-five. Ail I ask, is that you let me shoot first. One of the soldiers opens the LOCKED gate and the second soldier guides Ray through. RAY: Come on guys, you don't need to do this... The door SLAMS shut behind him and the first soldier padlocks it shut. The second soldier shoulders his M16 and stands guard at the door. SOLDIER #1: You'll have to speak to... RAY: ...The Colonel. Great. INT. HANGAR FIFTY-SEVEN -- HANGAR AREA -- CONTINUOUS TECHNICIAN: Five and closing. AUDREY: Where's the Colonel? SCIENTIST: On his way. TECHNICIAN: Four and closing. AUDREY: Secure the doors. TECHNICIAN: Securing doors. The doors start to close as Ian appears around a truck and sees Audrey at the far end of the hangar. He runs IAN: Audrey! She turns and sees him. TECHNICIAN: Three and closing. SCIENTIST: You know him? TECHNICIAN: Tracking craft in position. IAN: (in a rush) That was my mother's ring! It was my mothers. She told me to give it to the woman I would love for the rest of my life and if you don't feel the same way I want it back! TECHNICIAN: Two and closing. IAN: Audrey! TECHNICIAN: One and closing. The door SLAMS shut. Ian pulls up -- Fraser arrives behind him. So do a half dozen guards with M16's. They point their rifles. IAN (raising his hands) Well, I asked her. Couldn't get a straight answer. CUT TO: INT. HOLDING AREA -- LATER Fraser, Ray and Ian are all behind bars. IAN: She didn't know. (indicates his heart) In here. I guess I just thought she did. Fraser looks to Ray, expectantly. FRASER: Well? RAY: This is not my fault. I was the one who said nobody falls in love in forty minutes. The Colonel arrives. COLONEL: I've spoken to your Lieutenant, and to your Consulate. You stay. Ray starts to protest. COLONEL: For now. I told them I want you the hell off my base as son as the paper work is ready. (to Ian) You can go. The Colonel exits. Ian is genuinely surprised. Until: AUDREY (O.S.): Ian. Ian turns to look. It's Audrey. IAN: What are you doing here? AUDREY: (glowing) Something very important happened here tonight, Ian. Something I've been working for a long time. RAY: (to Fraser) Audrey? FRASER: It would appear. Ian walks out to meet her. IAN: Is this how it's always going to be, Audrey? Me and the kids, waiting at home, supper cold on the table, family the last priority... AUDREY: I have known you a grand total of fifty seven minutes. IAN: Exactly, and we're wasting more of them. AUDREY: Ian! IAN: Yes, sweetheart? She takes it out of her pocket and offers it to him. AUDREY: Do you want your ring back? IAN: No. I kept my promise. You keep it. Audrey looks at the ring. At Ian. AUDREY: You know, when we met... (she hesitates) IAN: (jumping in)It was like summer lightning and when you looked into my eyes you knew I was a man you could spend the rest of your life with. AUDREY; No, I thought you were cute. For me it takes more than forty-two minutes. (off Ian' s disappointment) Maybe if we had forty-three... Audrey smiles at him, Ian brightens. AUDREY: Give you a lift? Ian turns to Fraser and Ray. IAN: Look, you guys take the bus and I'll meet you back at the motel. (to Audrey) It is the motel, right? She smiles and they start to walk. RAY : What bus? They confiscated it. FRASER: Perhaps we can recover it. RAY: And be humiliated all the way back to the Loop? I don't think so. FRASER: Do you propose we walk? RAY: I'm not driving back in that bus. FRASER: Fine. What do you suggest? RAY: We could hitchhike. FRASER: And risk arrest? RAY: We're already under arrest. A beat. FRASER: I'm sorry, Ray. A longer beat. RAY: And Fraser? The next time you ask me a hypothetical question? FRASER: Yes, Ray? RAY: The answer is no. FRASER: That doesn't make any sense, Ray. CUT TO: EXT. A FIELD SOMEWHERE -- NIGHT An unearthly light shines brightly on the upturned faces of the Seniors. Bob is there, along with Diefenbaker. SUDDENLY The light sweeps up from their feet (off screen the door to the spaceship is lifting up and closing) and extinguishes itself. The seniors as one, wave as we HEAR SFX of this spaceship STARTING and lifting off. WITH THE SENIORS Necks craning as they struggle to keep watch of it all the way out into space. CUT TO: EXT. NIGHT SKY -- CONTINUOUS Above, the milky way in all its glory. One star, very far away, TWINKLES and winks out. FADE OUT:
