Episode # 5 Project - SCIO07 DUE SOUTH "Pizzas and Promises by David Shore PUBLISHED DRAFT September 7, 1994 REVISED PINK - September 15,1994 REVISED BLUE - September 15,1994 REVISED GREEN - September 20,1994 REVISED YELLOW - Sept. 20,1994 Revised Pages: (3) 6,60,61
PROLOGUE FADE IN: INT. FRASER'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT -- DAY 1 FRASER and DIEFENBAKER look at RAY curiously. (Fraser wears his dress reds, unbuttoned casually, having just returned from work.) Ray looks at his watch. RAY: Twenty nine minutes. FRASER: Wouldn't it have been easier to order from the place across the street? RAY: Fraser, there are hundreds of places that make pizza. What we are looking for is the perfect pizza at the perfect price. FRASER: Which is? RAY: Free. And that's what it will be in ... (checks his watch) ... thirty-four seconds. No way they can get a pizza here from Michigan Ave. in under half an hour. FRASER: You mean you're taking advantage of some promotional ploy in order to get something for nothing? RAY: Welcome to the United States of America, Fraser. FRASER: That hardly seems fair. I mean, if you don't pay for it, someone else has to. RAY : Again, welcome to my country. There's a knock on the door, Ray flings it open. LENNY, a 16 year old pizza delivery kid who looks anxious and out of breath. RAY: Drop the pizza, kid, you're late! LENNY: Oh, you're one of those guys. Listen, I couldn't find the building, I'm ten seconds late, I'm sorry, your pizza is obviously ruined. RAY: Don't give me sarcasm, kid, just a pizza. LENNY: I go back without thirteen-fifty, I'm fired. I just got this job, I need it, cut me a break. FRASER: (handing him cash)This is for my half, Ray. RAY: What half? You believe this kid's sob story? LENNY: Come on, I'm blocking the alley. RAY: (reaching for his wallet) Fine, kid, but next time-- At that moment we hear a SCREECH from the parking lot. LENNY: (reacting) Oh, no - - He runs to the rear window and looks out. LENNY: (panicked) My car! They got my car! Fraser and Ray look down to see: ANGLE ON PARKING LOT -- THEIR POV A lime green Comet, with a big "Pizza Duo" sign, backs into some trash cans. The driver slams the car into first to take off as: RAY: (to Lenny) Repo? LENNY: I just bought it! FRASER: Diefenbaker! Follow it! Dief takes off through the open door. Fraser leaps outwindow. EXT. FRASER'S BUILDING -- CONTINUOUS Fraser hits the fire escape, runs up to the roof and disappears as ... INT. APARTMENT STAIRWELL -- AT THAT MOMENT Dief dashes down the stairs. EXT. PARKING LOT -- SECONDS LATER The car fishtails around the parking lot and tears off west down the alley. EXT. TENEMENT ROOF TOPS -- CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON FRASER As he dashes across the roof tops. EXT. ALLEY -- CONTINUOUS As the car screams off down the alley, a Mountie falls of the sky and lands on the roof. FRASER: Please stop immediately. This is not your automobile. The Comet slams on the brakes and does a u-turn, it's rear end fishtailing. Fraser is thrown from the roof and rolls onto the ground. The car speeds off east up the alley, as Dief runs up to check Fraser. FRASER: I'm all right. With that, Dief turns and charges off after the car. FRASER: (alarmed) Dief! Diefenbaker! Fraser jumps up and runs after his dog. EXT. INTERSECTION.CF ALLEY AND STREET -- CONTINUOUS Ray and Lenny run up on the sidewalk just as the car flies past them out the mouth of the alley and swerves onto the street. Lenny runs off after his car. LENNY: Hey! Hey! Ray turns as he hears: FRASER(running up the alley): Ray, stop Diefenbaker! Stop him! Ray sees Dief charging up the alley toward him. RAY: (to Dief)Hey! Stop! Halt! Un-mush! But Dief keeps going, rounding the corner and taking off down the street after the car. Fraser runs up, out of breath. FRASER: Where's your car? RAY: Blocked in. (re Dief) You gotta get that dog a hearing aid! FRASER: (doubles over, out of breath) It's my mistake, I should never have sent him. RAY: He'll come back. FRASER: No, he won't stop until he catches it. RAY: And if they don't stop? FRASER: He'll die trying. They watch as Dief disappears down the street. Lenny turns in the intersection (Keele and Dundas), completely distraught. EXT. CITY STREETS.-- NIGHT Diefenbaker runs steadfastly into the night, but the Comet is nowhere to be seen. END OF PROLOGUE
ACT ONE OMITTED INT. FRASER'S APARTMENT -- A SHORT TIME LATER Ray reads the license number off Lenny's pink slip as he speaks into his cell phone. RAY: 1977 Green Comet, license number Robert Charles William One Three Nine. There's some noise over the line RAY: Yeah, you do that. Ray hangs up and walks back across the apartment to where Fraser is speaking with Lenny. LENNY: (panicked) I don't get that car back I lose my job! RAY: I called it in. (handing him license and registration) Here you go, kid. LENNY: Lotta good that is going to do me. RAY: Hey, call your insurance broker. You do have insurance, don't you? LENNY: sarcastic) Oh yeah, sure. Spent the last of my inheritance on it. FRASER: Well, the police have a description of the car. The thief can't have gotten too far. LENNY: Right now my car's in a garage being torn up for parts. By morning, it'll be spread over six states and the frame will be rusting in Lake Michigan. RAY: (suspicious) Earlier career choice, kid? LENNY: They like to teach you a trade in Juvie. Off their reactions, the kid exits out the door. Moves to follow. RAY: Let the punk go FRASER: He's in trouble, Ray. Fraser heads for the door RAY: (calling after him) Hey! There are still a few people left in this neighborhood without a criminal record. Help one of _them! Ray grudgingly follows OMITTED EXT. TENEMENT APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS FRASER: (calling ahead) Lenny? Lenny keeps walking. RAY: He doesn't want our help. Can't you respect that? FRASER: This is my neighborhood. That makes it my responsibility. RAY: Well, it's not my neighborhood. FRASER: No, quite right, it's not. Fraser runs after Lenny and firmly places his hand on the boy's shoulder. Lenny stops and turns to face Fraser. Something about Fraser's look holds Lenny's attention. FRASER: Lenny, I will find your car. LENNY: How? FRASER: I have a friend on the case already. LENNY: The wolf? Fraser nods. FRASER: It's his neighborhood, too. Annoyed, Ray snatches back the pink slip from the kid and follows Fraser off. CUT TO: INT. RAY'S CAR -- MOMENTS LALTER Ray and Fraser get in, Ray starts the car. As Fraser does up his tunic he notices something on the button of his cuff. FRASER: That's odd. RAY: What? Fraser studies the edge of the metal button. FRASER: Probably nothing. Ray pulls out and drives. RAY: Nothing, something, I don't care. I am not getting involved in this one, Fraser. Unlike you, I refuse to feel guilty for something that is beyond my control. FRASER: Yes, Ray. I understand fully. RAY: (continuing unabated) The kid should have gotten insurance, an alarm, the club, something. It's his own fault it got lifted and I am not going to turn Chicago upside down trying to find it just because of your twisted sense of honor. FRASER: Absolutely. Every individual must adhere to his own moral code. RAY: (offended) What's that supposed to mean? FRASER: (innocently) Just what I said, Ray. You have no responsibility here. Just let me off and you can go home. RAY: Fine. Ray stops the car and lets Fraser out. EXT. CITY STREETS -- CONTINUOUS FRASER: Thanks. As Fraser begins to walk away. RAY: I 'm going. FRASER: Good night, Ray. Fraser heads off down the sidewalk and Ray follows slowly, yelling to him out the passenger window. RAY: Forty-seven thousand cars get stolen in this City every year. How are you gonna find this one? FRASER: I don't think you want to know that, Ray. RAY: You're right. I don't. Good night. He accelerates out of frame. Fraser bends down to inspect something on the street. As he does so, Ray reverses back into frame. RAY: (now he's really annoyed) Okay, how? FRASER: When the Inuit go fishing; they don't look for the fish. Fraser walks away. Ray throws the car into park and ... RAY: I hate myself. Ray gets out and follows to where Fraser is standing, carefully surveying the horizon. RAY: Alright, what do they look for? FRASER: The blue heron. RAY: (disgusted) Oh, geez .... FRASER: I told you. RAY: So how would we find this legendary bird? FRASER: (walking off) We'd ask the people who'd know. Ray reluctantly follows him off. EXT. CITY STREETS -- A SHORT TIME LATER Ray is on one side of the street. In the wee hours of the night, few people are out. Fraser is on the other side, questioning whoever is available. RAY: (muttering) All I wanted was a pizza. One lousy Chicago style deep dish pizza. He approaches a man. RAY: Excuse me. Have you seen a green Comet ... (closes his eyes, embarrassed)... followed by a white wolf. The man stares at Ray for a beat -- he's stone-faced drunk. DRUNK: Today? RAY: (ticked off) Of course today! DRUNK: Mmmmm... (thinks) No. The drunk walks on, leaving Ray muttering to himself. RAY: One lousy pizza… EXT. ANOTHER CITY STREET -- AT THAT MOMENT A car passes. Diefenbaker stops in the middle of an intersection, sniffs around, then runs on. EXT. CITY STREETS -- EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT Ray and Fraser approach another street corner in a very depressed part of town. RAY: No! This is insane! I'm not asking any more bums! FRASER: These are the people of the streets, Ray. This is their home. You notice when things are out of place in your home. RAY: Oh sure. They've noticed green cars, white wolves and pink elephants! This is getting us nowhere! FRASER: It's gotten us here. RAY: This is a place we want to be??! Fraser sniffs the air. FRASER: I think I've picked up Dief's trail. RAY: (looks down) Oh yeah. How did I miss the little arrows he drew for you? He moves closer to the street, his hypersensitive nose working overtime. FRASER: (sotto, to himself) Yes. Good boy, Diefenbaker. RAY: You can smell him?? FRASER: Not exactly him. Fraser moves toward a lamp post. RAY: (suspicious) So what are you sniffing? Fraser bends down and begins to sniff all around the base of the lamp post. RAY: (disgusted) Oh geez! Please tell me you're kidding. FRASER: Each lupus has a unique scent. That's how they're able to mark their own territory. RAY: It stinks! FRASER: Exactly Fraser decisively moves off down the street. Ray follows, cynically. RAY: You're telling me this animal peed all the way from here to the loop?! FRASER: This isn't about relieving himself. This is about marking a trail. They move off. EXT. CITY STREETS -- LATER Ray and Fraser approach another intersection. RAY: First dirt tasting. Now piddle sniffing. I don't want to be around when you start listening to dung. Ray watches, impatient and embarrassed, as Fraser bends down to sniff a bush. - TWO TRANSIENTS (from episode #1) are watching from a bus bench. TRANSIENT #1: (to his buddy) Fraser's looking for his dog again. His buddy nods. Fraser rises and starts walking briskly back in the direction from where he and Ray just came. RAY: Where ya going? FRASER: Stupid rookie mistake. RAY: What? FRASER: These last two blocks ... (ashamed) I've been tracking a Lhasa Apso. RAY: A Lhasa Apso?? FRASER: I know. If word of this ever gets back to the Territories I'll never live it- down. RAY: Yeah, I'd hate to have caribou making snide remarks behind my back. EXT. CITY STREETS -- NEAR DAWN As the sun comes up, Ray and Fraser are still on the trail. Fraser stops, stands erect, turns to the wind and sniffs. FRASER: That's it. RAY: What? Fraser does a slow circle in the emptiness of the dawn, searching. FRASER: He's here. RAY: Where? Suddenly he sees what he's been looking for. FRASER: Diefenbaker! FRASER'S POV Diefenbaker is sitting between two cars, staring at a bright yellow Comet. He sees Fraser and scampers toward him. UP TO REVEAL A sign marking this as "Tex Markles' Fine Pre-Owned Automobiles". RAY: Markles Used Cars? (referring to the pink slip) This is where the kid bought the car! Your dumb animal tracked it backwards! They hurry across the street to the lot. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- MOMENTS LATER Fraser pats Diefenbaker, who is staring at a bright yellow Comet. FRASER: Good dog. RAY: Yeah, brilliant. You told me he was deaf. You forgot to mention color blind. FRASER: This is the car. RAY: (incredulous) It's bright yellow. The kid's was lime green! (looks through windshield) And the VIN number isn't even close! FRASER: (checking door) No scratches on the lock. No sign of break in. They must have used a key. Fraser bends down, removes his pocket knife, and uses it to take a scraping from the inside of the tire well. . RAY: Of course they used a key! It's their Car! Fraser shows Ray the paint scraping on his knife. Beside it on the blade he places the scraping from his button. Each shows a rainbow of colors. FRASER: When I was on Lenny's car, my button accidentally scratched the paint. The second sample I just took from the tire well of this car. RAY:(sarcastic) Very pretty, Fraser. FRASER: They're identical. Except the second one has a fresh coat of yellow paint. Ray studies the scrapings, then touches the paint on the car. RAY: Still tacky. I'll be damned, same car. FRASER: You think you can get forensics down here? RAY: No need. I'll have this puppy impounded in under an hour. CUT TO: INT. WELSH'S OFFICE -- LATER THAT MORNING LT. WELSH is patiently dealing with Ray and Fraser who are cleaned up but still wearing their clothes from the night before. WELSH: Okay. Different color. Different plates. Different vehicle I.D. number. Do I pretty much have the picture? RAY: Yes sir, but ... WELSH: All of them legit, right? RAY: (sheepishly) Apparently so, yes sir, but -- FRASER: Detective Vecchio also has a source that corroborates his theory, sir. Ray reacts. WELSH: (to Ray) And your source would be? RAY: (wishing he was somewhere else) His wolf, Sir. WELSH: (what a shame) Ah, well. Unfortunately, wolves are notoriously bad witnesses. In my experience, they tend to fold under cross examination. (beat) Gentlemen, the State's Attorney only has the manpower to prosecute a small fraction of the cases we bring him. So you can understand why we don't like to ask him to prosecute those in which we have absolutely no evidence at all. FRASER: Lieutenant, Lenny Milano is a decent young man. He's on parole and he's trying to turn his life around. I'm afraid that if I tell him there's nothing you can do for him ... WELSH: This kid's a friend of yours? FRASER: No, sir. WELSH: A relative? FRASER: He delivered a pizza to my apartment. At Detective Vecchio's request. Ray reacts again. WELSH: (to Ray) You ordered the pizza? RAY: It didn't seem like a mistake at the time, sir. WELSH: (to Ray) Just as coming to me with this case probably didn't seem like a mistake at the time, either. RAY: Yes, sir. They exit. INT. POLICE SQUAD ROOM -- CONTINUOUS As they enter the bullpen from Welsh's office: RAY: My theory?? FRASER: I was trying to give you the credit, Ray. RAY: Okay, I did my good deed, I embarrassed myself to the fullest extent of the law for you. Now can I get back to work? FRASER: Of course. You did all you could. Fraser strides off. Ray watches him go, not knowing why doesn't feel better. RAY: (frustrated) Damn. He's as bad as his dog. EXT. JUVENILE HALL -- THAT AFTERNOON Fraser (in his reds) and Lenny walk past a tall fence separating them from an exercise yard, where juvenile delinquents are incarcerated. One of them, FITZ, notices Lenny on the outside. FITZ: Hey Milano! What's with the Mountie? You steal some maple syrup? Lenny ignores Fitz but others have gathered around Fitz. FITZ: We've missed you, Lenny. They all make annoying kissing sounds. Lenny stops and coldly faces them. FITZ: Ah look at that. We hurt his feelings. You gotta toughen up, Lenny. Who knows what kinda personal hardships you're gonna run into the next time I can reach you. The delinquents laugh hysterically. And the laughter ceases. Lenny spits toward Fitz LENNY: (calm, threatening) Any time, Fitz. Any time at all. Fraser puts his hand on Lenny's arm and gently pulls him forward. Lenny reluctantly comes along. FITZ: Looking forward to seeing you, Lenny. As Fraser and Lenny turn around a wall, the sound of the delinquents' laughter fades away. FRASER: That young man's not expecting to be released any time soon, is he? LENNY: No. He's expecting me back in there. Everybody always comes back. FRASER: Not everyone, Lenny. LENNY: (unconvinced)Yeah. They walk off. INT. JUVENILE PROBATION OFFICER'S OFFICE -- A SHORT TIME LATER Fraser and Lenny are meeting with Lenny's Probation Officer, HOWARD DAWSON. DAWSON: So, a Mountie. What happened, Lenny? You steal some maple syrup? Dawson laughs at his joke and Lenny gives Fraser a knowing look. LENNY: No Sir. FRASER: I came to vouch for the boy, sir. DAWSON: And for what does the boy need vouching? LENNY: My car was stolen. DAWSON: No problem. LENNY: I may be out of a job for a while. DAWSON: Problem. LENNY: Sir? DAWSON: Condition 12 B of your early release you maintain employment. FRASER: I'm sure he'll be able to find alternative employment in no time. DAWSON: Judge said maintain -- not re-obtain. Milano better hang on to the job he already has. FRASER: But he can't deliver pizza without a car. DAWSON: Sorry. Them's the rules. Lose your job. Lose your freedom. Off Lenny's panicky reaction, we: FADE OUT: END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO INT. PIZZERIA -- SAME AFTERNOON CARMEN, Lenny's very Italian boss, is busy preparing a pizza -- spinning the dough. Fraser, still in his scarlet tunic, stands by with Lenny. Carmen pulls a pizza out of the oven. CARMEN: (yelling) Mushroom/pepperoni's up! (indicating Lenny) You know how many people wanted this job? I got college graduates waiting in line. FRASER: But you chose Lenny because he's responsible and a hard worker. CARMEN: He had a car. A sloppy and lethargic-looking DELIVERY KID shuffles up to the counter, takes the pizza and walks away. CARMEN : Look, Mr. Mountie, I need kids who can deliver pizzas. Not kids with excuses. (to o.s. kid) Deliver it, don't eat it! FRASER: I understand. You obviously have a waiting list of qualified delivery people. CARMEN: (after the kid) Other side up! Other side up! (to Fraser) Tell you what. Tomorrow's Wednesday. It's pretty quiet. I can wait till Thursday. LENNY: That's it? CARMEN: Best I can do. If you're not here Thursday night, with a car, I gotta get someone else. Sorry. LENNY: Yeah. Lenny turns and walks away. FRASER: (calling after) Lenny -- (to Carmen) Thank you. Fraser catches up to him at the door. and desperate. Lenny is clearly upset LENNY: Look, thanks for your help, but this is going nowhere. You're never gonna get my car back from that lot. I'll take care of this myself. FRASER: Ah. You have a plan. LENNY: Yeah. I'm gonna get a car. FRASER: You'll borrow one? LENNY: I've got some friends. F'RASER: Yes, I met a couple of them earlier today. If you steal a car, you're just going to end up back where you were -- only for a lot longer. LENNY: Hey, it may sound stupid to you, but this isn't about going back to Juvie. I really want to keep this job. For the first time in a long time I'm not taking anything, I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm getting paid to do it. I don't want to be what I was. FRASER: Give me 24 hours. We'll get your car. Lenny considers this for a long time, then nods. INT. POLICE STATION -- LATE AFTERNOON Fraser and Ray at Ray's desk. In the background, Elaine watches them as she does some filing. RAY: You want to go undercover? FRASER: Well, I admit I'm not as familiar with the art of subterfuge as you are, Ray. But it does appear to have been an inside job and I don't see any other way to gather sufficient evidence. RAY: (playing along) Okay. So what's your cover? FRASER: Ah, my cover, yes. I thought I'd present myself as a chance passerby. Naturally, I'd start by removing my hat and any identifying symbols from my uniform. RAY: Good, cause the big brass Mountie buttons just might tip someone off. FRASER: Yes, that occurred to me. Then I thought I'd stroll onto the lot, introduce myself to the employees and ask a few informal questions. RAY: Such as? FRASER : "Would anyone know the whereabouts of a stolen lime-green Comet?" Ray hangs his head in defeat, then grabs his jacket. RAY: Okay, lets go. FRASER: Did I say something wrong? As Fraser follows Ray out of the bullpen: RAY: No, of course not Benny. FRASER: I said something wrong. RAY: Just follow me. FRASER: Okay. If you insist. Fraser gives a little smile that Ray doesn't see. As he passes Elaine: ELAINE: You're good. You're very good. FRASER: Thank you. CUT TO: EXT. USED CAR LOT -- FOLLOWING MORNING (DAY 3) Ray and Fraser cross the street into the lot. They are dressed like stereotypical car salesmen -- plaid pants, loud shirts and cheap ties ... essentially they're both wearing Ray's normal clothes except Fraser's jacket is as red as his dress uniform. RAY: Rule number one of undercover work -- if you don't believe it, they won't believe it. We're not just pretending to be used car salesmen -- we are used car salesmen. FRASER: Of course. But Fraser sees a teenager toss some litter on the ground. FRASER : Excuse me, young man. Please place that in the appropriate receptacle. Ray grabs his arm. RAY: You're a car salesman FRASER: Of course. Ray. I have done this before, RAY: Really? FRASER: When I was a young scout, anxious to earn my ecology badge, I insinuated myself into a hunting party to catch a baby seal killer. RAY: What happened? FRASER: Well, I was clubbed repeatedly, Ray. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have gone in as a seal. Ray gives Fraser his "I can't believe I work with this guy" look. They enter the lot and TEX MARKLES approaches them. TEX: Gentlemen. Welcome to Tex Markles' Fine Pre-Owned Automobiles. I'm Tex Markles. How can I help you? RAY: It's how we can help you. Roy Venner. This is my partner, Billy Bob Fraser. Maybe you heard of -him. Last year, Billy Bob sold more cars than anyone else in the State of Texas. TEX: (to Fraser) No kidding. That true, son? FRASER: No. TEX: That's what I like, an honest man. Most guys come in here, hand me a line of bull, trying to pretend they're something they're not. FRASER: Actually, I'm a Mountie, sir. TEX: (laughs) And you got a sense of humor, too. So, you want to work for me, huh? See that lady, over there? ANGLE INCLUDES AN-OLD WOMAN INSPECTING AN ANCIENT JEEP FRASER: I can honestly say that I do. TEX: Sell her that piece of junk and you've got yourselves jobs. Anything you get over four hundred is yours. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- MOMENTS LATER Ray and Fraser approach the lady who sits in the jeep, door ajar. RAY: Well, well, well, you've got a keen eye for quality, young lady. OLD WOMAN: Thank you RAY: Go ahead. Start her up. He gives her the keys and she reluctantly climbs in -- the engine springs to life -- sounds pretty good. Fraser listens intently. RAY: Sounds great, huh? OLD WOMAN: Yes, it certainly does. FRASER: And I don't think that valve problem should give you any trouble for another few hundred miles. RAY: (smiling, to woman) Excuse me for a moment, will you? Ray takes Fraser aside. RAY: Fraser, people who're thinking about buying a car don't really need to hear about engine problems. It makes them think about the "no" word. FRASER: You can't expect me to lie to people, Ray. RAY: Who's asking you to lie? Fraser just stares at him, RAY: All right, I am. But if we don't lie, we don't sell a car; we don't get a job, we don't get to hang around here to solve the case; we don't solve the case, Lenny goes to jail. And worse, I look like a jerk to my Lieutenant. I'm putting my ass on the line here. If I don't bust someone for this, I spend the next six months in the filing room. So, if you can't say something untrue, don't say anything at all. Fraser nods and they turn back to the old woman. RAY: How much did you want to spend? OLD WOMAN: A hundred dollars. RAY: It's yours. I'll meet you in the office. AS the woman walks away delighted, Ray looks to Fraser FRASER: Tex wanted four hundred dollars for it. RAY: I know. Cough up the other three. As Fraser reacts, DISSOLVE TO: INT. USED CAR SHOW ROOM -- DAY GARY REDFIELD, head salesman and part time redwood, stands at a lectern and leads the morning sales meeting for the dozen sleazy, cloned salesmen of the lot. Ray and Fraser are in the crowd. GARY: Good morning, people. Couple of announcements of importance to everyone. Item one: Try selling cars. Mr. and Mrs. Markles have made it clear that this is something we should be doing. Two of the salesmen look around uncomfortably. GARY : Item two: We have two new salesmen joining us today ... (checks a note) Roy Venner and Billy Bob Fraser. Which means less commissions for the rest of us. As the salesmen grumble discontentedly: FRASER: (to all) Hello. -Nice to meet you GARY: Finally, today's specials. The list is coming around. As he speaks, TAMMY MARKLES, middle aged and covered with make-up, appears in the office door. She looks around the room, her eyes coming to rest on Fraser. She catches his eye and circles her tongue around the outside of her lips. Fraser interprets it to mean he's got something on his mouth and dabs it clean. Tammy eyes him again and then slips into the hallway. Ray's disgust at this shameless flirtation is interrupted when a stack of paper is passed to him. He takes one and passes it on. It contains a list of eight vehicles. GARY : These are the cars that Tex would like us to push today; nice mark ups -- which translates into a $100 bonus for each one sold. That's it people. They begin to disperse. GARY They stop. GARY : Be careful out there. They head out again. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- LATER THAT MORNING The lot is abuzz with activity. Ray tries to sell a very hot sports car to an unseen person. RAY: I'm telling you, this is a veritable chick magnet -- the best car on the lot -- 0 to 60 in 5.6 seconds. REVEAL VERY OLD MAN leaning on his walker, expressionless. As Ray and the Old Man lean in to study the engine, we PAN ACROSS to find Fraser scraping his pocket knife in the tire well of a car. He inspects it and moves on to the one beside it where he repeats the process. Finally, on his third vehicle ... TEX (V. 0.): Whatcha doin' there, Billy Bob? Tex appears. Fraser continues, unaware he's being addressed. TEX : Billy Bob ... ? Billy Bob ...? FRASER: (realizing) Ah. Yes. That would be me. TEX: Let me take a shot in the dark, here. Billy Bob's not your real name, is it? FRASER: No, Sir. It's Benton. TEX: That's too bad. I can see why you changed it. What the hell were you doin' down there, boy? FRASER: I'd rather not say, sir. TEX: Why not? FRASER: Roy would get mad. TEX: Well then, stop messin' around under cars and go sell me some. FRASER: I'll do my best, sir, but I'm not really a car salesman. An ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN approaches. YOUNG WOMAN: Excuse me, I'd like to take a test drive. TEX: Sure, right this way. YOUNG WOMAN: No. (indicating Fraser) With him. FRASER: Certainly. Which car? YOUNG WOMAN: (with a big smile) All of them. She takes him by the arm and drags him away. TEX: Not a salesman, huh? Tex looks down under the tire well, picks up a paint chip and looks after Fraser, suspiciously. OMITTED INT. USED CAR SHOW ROOM -- LATER Ray is standing with Gary at the coffee machine. Along the wall are several "Salesman of the Month" plaques with Gary's picture on them. RAY: (referring to plaques) See you made "Salesman of the Month" eight times in a row. GARY: Yeah well, just being nominated was honor enough. Ray reaches for a plaque. GARY : (quickly) Don't touch it. RAY: Markles must be a good employer, huh? GARY: The best. As long as you do two things for him. RAY: Yeah. What's that? GARY: Sell plenty of cars. RAY: And? GARY: And don't ask stupid questions. Gary abruptly walks off. OMITTED EXT. USED CAR LOT -- LATER Ray approaches Fraser. RAY: Okay, I've got it. FRASER: The specials have all been stolen. RAY: Exactly. FRASER: They've been stripped of everything with a serial number, including the cars. . RAY: Exactly. FRASER: Judging by the number of coats of paint, each one of them has been sold and stolen back several times. RAY: You're with me. FRASER: The only thing I don't understand is how they continually come up with new vehicle identification numbers. RAY: I know that. FRASER: You do? RAY: Yes. And if you hadn't been out test driving every car on the lot, you'd know too. FRASER: I'm beginning to suspect that young woman wasn't interested in buying a car, Ray. RAY: Dashboards. I found half a dozen in the dumpster out back -- each one missing the VIN plate. FRASER: At the rate they $re replacing them, they must have quite a number secreted somewhere on the premises. RAY: (heads off) Follow me, Billy Bob. FRASER: You know where they are? RAY: I'd bet money on it. But I need your help to get in there. FRASER: You want me to create a distraction? RAY: No. I want you to be one. FRASER: Ah. (following him o.s.) How do you mean? CUT TO: INT. OFFICE -- DAY Fraser enters to find Tammy. Behind her desk a hall runs to an emergency exit. The door to Accounting exits off this hallway. TAMMY: Hi there, Billy Bob. FRASER: Call me Fraser, Mrs. Markles. Ray peeks in from the emergency exit at the end of the hall. TAMMY: And you call me, Tammy. So, what can I do for you? FRASER: I just wanted to talk to you. TAMMY: (very interested) Really? Tammy comes around her desk and stands too close to Fraser for a regular conversation. However, she can no longer see down the hallway. TAMMY : You know, I've been thinking you've got ... the right stuff ... to be an employee of the week. In the background, Ray sneaks down the hall to the door and begins to try to pick the lock to accounting. Fraser takes a step backward. FRASER: That's very flattering. But I haven't sold any cars yet. TAMMY: (stepping forward) Employee of the week isn't just about selling cars. FRASER: (stepping backward) It isn't? She takes a giant step forward. Fraser reacts nervously and steps aside. She does likewise. FRASER : Of course not. I imagine it's about loyalty and dedication and trustworthiness. TAMMY: You're trustworthy, aren't you, Billy Bob? FRASER: (stepping back) I'm trying not to be. She grabs his arm. TAMMY: If we're going to dance, we might as well hold on to each other. She flicks on a tape player and some C and W immediately strums on, heartbreak and all. ANGLE ON RAY He has picked the lock and he disappears into ... INT. ACCOUNTING OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS Ray immediately begins to scrounge around. INT. OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS Fraser and Tammy are in the exact same position, except 12 paces backward, with Fraser now pinned against the wall. TAMMY: My husband only has time for his work. He really doesn't understand me, Billy Bob. But you do, don't you? FRASER: No. Actually, I don't think I do. TAMMY: I think you do. She gives him a pinch on his rear end. FRASER: Ah yes. Now I do - INT. ACCOUNTING OFFICE -- DAY Ray looks around the room. His eye is drawn to a baseboard which is slightly ajar. He reaches down and further separates the baseboard. Tumbling downward, are dozens of VINS. INT. OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS Fraser masks his eyes as Tammy struggles to get her blouse up and over her head. TAMMY: Now you keep your eyes closed. FRASER: Yes, I'd prefer that. She gets it off. TAMMY: Now you can look. FRASER: No, I really can't, Suddenly, the sound of tires squealing TEX (V. 0.): Stop him!! Stop him now!! FRASER: (reacts) Emergency. What a shame. Fraser dashes from the room. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Fraser emerges just in time to see ... ANGLE ON THE COMET Lenny is behind the wheel. He accelerates down one of the rows of cars, searching for the exit. TEX: Somebody call the police! The kid's stealin' that car!! Stop him! Fraser dashes after the Comet. INT. ACCOUNTING OFFICE -- SAME TIME Ray is just closing up the secret compartment as Tammy storms in. TAMMY Something I can help you with? RAY: (caught) Just looking for the keys to the Skylark. ANGLE ON RAY as keys come whizzing through the air at his face. He catches them just in the nick of time. RAY: Thank you. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Fraser runs toward the Comet only to see it cut off by an unlucky COUPLE looking for a car. The Comet is forced to make a sharp right turn down another aisle. Fraser takes off to the right. He leaps onto a car blocking his way, jumps from car hood to car hood on the full run. TEX: (calling Fraser) Don't scratch the paint! (to Gary) Go help him! Gary takes a few reluctant steps forward, but when the kid barrels straight for him, Gary quickly dives to safety between two parked cars. Lenny heads toward the exit. As the Comet races for the exit, suddenly Fraser appears, leaping off the hood of a car and landing in the path of the speeding Comet. He stands steadfast, boldly blocking its only escape route. OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED INT. COMET -- CONTINUOUS Lenny reacts to what he sees. LENNY: Get outta my way, you stupid Mountie! He steps on the accelerator but Fraser doesn't budge. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Closer. Faster. Closer. Finally, Lenny blinks. He slams on the brakes and squeals to a halt inches from Fraser. A police car, SIREN BLARING, pulls onto the lot behind Fraser just as Tex and Gary run onto the scene. TEX: Great work, Billy Bob! (to the cops) Arrest that kid, Officers! The cops are out of their car and move to arrest Lenny. He too has climbed out of his car and tries to bolt but Fraser grabs him by the shoulder. Lenny looks at him pleadingly. LENNY: But it's my car!! FRASER: I know. TEX: Now that's an employee!! That's what I need! More salesmen who are prepared to throw themselves in front of cars for me. Gary, give him one of your plaques. As the police cuff Lenny and lead him off , the boy looks at Fraser, hurt and betrayed. On Fraser's reaction, we: FADE OUT: END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE OMITTED INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM -- NIGHT Fraser visits Lenny. FRASER: I'm sorry you have to stay here. LENNY: I been in worse places. I'm going back to one. Looks like I blew it, huh? FRASER: The Dispositional Hearing isn't until Friday. It's not over yet. LENNY: It's not that I don't appreciate your help, but yeah, it is over. Looks like Fitz was right. Everything comes back around. FRASER: I do believe in destiny, Lenny. But just because the trail leads one way, doesn't mean a man can't cut his own path. No matter what happens, you have to keep to that path, Lenny. LENNY: (with humor) Looks like mine leads right over a Cliff. FRASER: (smiling) Cliffs are for climbing, Lenny. That's why Cod gave us grappling hooks. Lenny smiles. CUT TO: INT. RAY'S CAR - - THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON (DAY 4) The car is parked across the street from the used car lot. Fraser, dressed in his brown uniform, watches from the passenger seat as Ray, in his salesman garb, approaches from the lot and climbs in. RAY: The VIN plates are gone. Now what? FRASER: We've got to catch them in the act. And we've got to do it before Lenny's Dispositional Hearing. RAY: See, here's the tricky thing about sting operations: they require money, resources, and a little more manpower than you, me and the wolf. FRASER: Right. Then we'll need a volunteer. EXT. USED CAR LOT -- THAT EVENING FRANCESCA walks across the lot, dressed to the nines. She speaks discreetly into the strap of her evening gown. FRANCESCA: Can you read me? INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS Ray and Fraser watch Francesca from across the street. They communicate via a two way radio. FRASER: Loud and clear, Francesca. And, once again, I'm sorry if there was any confusion, but I thought I had made myself clear ... EXT. USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Francesca has her finger to her ear, adjusting a small receiver. FRANCESCA: Don't worry. I've forgotten all about it. She approaches a WOMAN looking at a car. FRANCESCA : When a guy asks if you're busy tonight, he's asking you out, right? WOMAN: (flabbergasted) Yeah. I'd think so. FRANCESCA: So would I. Seen a salesman? She spots Tex and heads for him. INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS RAY: Four hundred women in my little black book and you had to call my sister? FRASER: I'm sorry, it was the only current number. RAY: okay, okay. (into mic, to Francesca) Let's go through the drill one more time. No departmental approval means we're on our own. Being on our own means ... INTERCUT WITH Francesca walking through the car lot. FRANCESCA: (bored) No back up. RAY: No, it means we're using my money. Using my money means we're buying a cheap car. You find Tex, you ask him what the specials are, and you buy the cheapest one you can get -- the Pinto, the Pacer – FRANCESCA : You told me this a hundred times! I think I picked up on most of the subtleties of the plan. RAY: The Comet! Buy the kid's Comet! FRANCESCA: Stop treating me like a child, okay? I know what I'm doing. Fraser sees Tex approach. FRASER: Here he comes. TEX: Hello, little lady. Welcome to Tex Markles' Fine Pre-Owned Automobiles. I'm Tex Markles. How can I help you? RAY (V.O.): "I'm looking for a car. FRANCESCA: (burns) I'm looking for a car. TEX: well then you've certainly come to the right place, heh, heh. Anything in particular? RAY: Something real cheap! FRANCESCA: Oh, I don't know. RAY: What do you mean you don't know?! Something cheap! The Comet! FRANCESCA: (smiling) A Corvette. RAY: Com-et! Com-et! Com! (taps the transmitter) Is this thing working?! FRANCESCA: One of the really expensive ones. RAY: Keep it up and I'm gonna let Fraser read your diary. FRANCESCA: (to Tex, quickly) Oh, look at that Comet. That's adorable. Ray sighs with relief as Francesca and Tex head for the Comet. TEX: Comet's a great car. They're solid, dependable automobiles. Tex gets there first and quickly pulls off the $400 price tag, tossing it behind the car. TEX : This little beauty here we've just marked down to ... He gives Francesca and her fancy outfit the once over. TEX : Six hundred. RAY: That car's not worth a penny over three hundred. Tell him three! Three and not a cent more. FRANCESCA: Six it is. She flinches and touches her ear as everybody in the hears a faint scream from a car across the road. Francesca smiles. CUT TO: INT. YELLOW COMET'--- LATER RAY (V.O.): That was supposed to be a flash roll! FRANCESCA: (smiling) I said I was sorry,, didn't I? We hear Ray sigh. RAY (V. 0 ): Pull over and I'll set the homing device. She adjusts her rear view mirror. FRANCESCA: Too late. Looks like we've got company. RAY (V. 0.): Already?! INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS Ray and Fraser are following Francesca at a discreet distance. A few cars ahead of them cruises a black Sedan with tinted windows -- its license plates is obscured. FRASER: We see him. FRANCESCA (V.0.): What do you want me to do? RAY: Turn in here. Ray grabs a penlight and a walkie talkie from his glove compartment as Francesca pulls her car into the lot of a car wash. As the black sedan pulls up to the curb in the foreground: CUT TO: INT. CAR WASH -- LATER As the Comet enters the car wash and moves through, we see Ray and Fraser waiting for it in a dry section ahead. Francesca cracks her window open and hands the keys to Ray, who hurries to the back of the car, opens the trunk and begins jerry rigging some rope to the inside trunk latch. RAY: I'm going to be riding in the trunk. FRASER : What about the homing device? RAY: No time. (beat) Watch this. He pulls up on the rope and the lock pops open FRASER: I don't know, Ray . You're going to be inside -- pulling down. FRANCESCA: (calling back) Will you get in the trunk already?! She gestures forward and we see that the car is about to enter the spraying hot wax. Ray hops into the trunk with his penlight and walkie talkie. RAY: Trust me. This contraption has saved me hundreds of dollars at the drive in. Ray pulls the trunk down over himself. AS the Comet disappears into the hot wax, Fraser pulls out his walkie talkie to test the transmission. FRASER: (into walkie-talkie) You okay? RAY (V. 0.): (through speaker) I think I got ripped off. (beat) The trunk leaks. Yow! Geez, that stuff's hot. EXT. VECCHIO'S STREET -- NIGHT Francesca's shiny yellow Comet is parked on the street. In a nearby alley, Fraser stands behind Ray's parked car watching the Comet through his spyglass. FRASER: (into walkie talkie) Ray? RAY (V. 0.): (reminding) Code names, we're on an open frequency here! FRASER: (embarrassed) Beaver to Stallion. Come in Stallion. RAY (V. 0.): Stallion here. FRASER: No sign of the ferret. RAY (V. 0.): Who? FRASER: The car thieves. RAY (V. O.): Right. Francesca appears carrying a large picnic basket and a blanket over her arm. FRANCESCA: I'm ready. Let's go. She opens the car door and gets in the driver's seat FRASER: (into walkie-talkie) Ray -- trouble. There's a fox in the cave. PAY (V. 0.): Get her outta there! Fraser goes around and gets in the passenger seat. INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS FRASER: (to Francesca) I'm afraid you'll have to leave. This could be dangerous. She pulls back the cloth covering the picnic basket to reveal it's contents: a wine battle, two glasses and some baggies and containers of food. FRANCESCA: Do you have a corkscrew? Oh, that's alright, it's twist off. FRASER: I don't mean to sound ingracious, and it's not that I don't appreciate the offer -- FRANCESCA: (offering) Hot hors d'oerves? Out of the basket comes a tupperware container. RAY (V. 0.): I'm suffocating and you're serving him a buffet?? FRANCESCA: Stay out of this, Gelding. RAY (V. 0.): Stallion! FRANCESCA: Yeah, in your dreams. Fraser interrupts, FRASER: Ray! The ferret is in the forest. FRASER'S POV The dark Sedan approaches the Comet. RAY (V.O.): (confused) What? FRANCESCA: (translating into walkie talkie) The car thief is coming your way (to Fraser, pulling out a baggie full of snails) Escargot? Francesca hops in the driver's side of Ray's car while Fraser reluctantly takes the passenger seat. ANGLE ON COMET The sedan pulls up beside the Comet. A man gets out of the passenger door and, with his back to Fraser and Francesca, he quickly pulls a key from his pocket, unlocks the door to the Comes, hops in, starts the engine and quietly leaves, following the sedan. A moment later, Fraser and Francesca pull out of the alley and join the convoy. OMITTED OMITTED INT. RAY'S CAR WITH FRASER AND FRANCESCA -- MOMENTS LATER FRASER: We're right behind you, Stallion. RAY (V.O.): Don't get too close. We don't want to scare these guys off. FRASER: We don't want to lose you. FRANCESCA: (to Fraser) Oh, he'll be fine. Would you mind peeling-me a shrimp? Francesca drops back a bit. The Comet turns right. A few moments later, Francesca makes the same right turn, only to face a very short block with no cars in sight. FRASER: (into walkie-talkie) You turned again. Which way did you just turn? RAY (V. 0.): What am I? A Mountie?! Right?! Left?! I'm in a trunk for crying out loud! FRASER: Tell me what do you hear? INT. TRUNK -- CONTINUOUS As the trunk bounce up and down jostling Ray violently. RAY: I hear my head smashing against the side of the trunk. (experiencing another large bump) Damn, that's another one! OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS FRASER: (realizing) Speed bumps. Fraser glances around at the intersection and spots a "Reduce Speed, School Crossing" sign on his left. FRASER : (to Francesca) Turn left! Francesca is steering with her knees, two finger bowls in her left hand, as she digs for more stuff in the picnic basket. FRANCESCA: Can you take the wheel for a moment? I've sort of got my hands full. RAY (V. 0.): (some static distorts his voice) You wanna step on it? FRANCESCA: I can't really serve and drive now, can I? (to Fraser) Gazpacho? FRASER: (steering with his left hand) He's starting to break up. We have to catch up to him. RAY (V.O.): (more static) Floor it, Francesca! FRANCESCA: Alright, if you want garlic butter on your upholstery. She hands Fraser her stuff and steps on the accelerator. As Fraser and Francesca bounce over the speed bumps. FRASER: (into walkie talkie) Ray ... ? Ray ...? (silence) He's out of range. Ray?! RAY (V. 0.): Shh. OMITTED INT. CAR TRUNK -- CONTINUOUS Ray, with penlight, speaks in hushed tones. RAY (V. 0.): The car has stopped. He's shut off the engine. I hear voices. I can't wait for you guys to find me -- I'm coming out. Three .... Two .... One. Click -- the sound of a rope being pulled and accomplishing nothing. Click. Click. Click. RAY: Damn! EXT. LAKEFRONT -- CONTINUOUS For the first time, we see the thief -- it's Gary the salesman. He stands over the trunk, staring down at it. From the trunk can be heard repeated clicking. RAY (V. 0.): (muffled) Stupid Mountie's right again! The Sedan pulls up and Tammy comes hurrying over. GARY: Shhhh. (quietly pointing at the trunk) Venner. I knew something wasn't right about that guy. TAMMY: Get rid of him. Gary crosses to the driver's side window, reaches in, and releases the emergency brake. CUT TO: INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS Fraser and Francesca speed through the dark and deserted streets of the lakefront. RAY (V. 0.): False alarm. We're moving again. Fraser and Francesca exchange a look. FRASER: Ray. The driver never got back in. INT. TRUNX -- CONTINUOUS Ray thinks about this. RAY: Uh-oh. CUT TO: EXT. LAKEFRONT -- CONTINUOUS HIGH ANGLE on Tammy and Gary in the black sedan speeding away from the Comet as it rolls down the ramp toward Lake Michigan. FADE OUT: END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR EXT. LAKESHORE -- MOMENTS LATER The Comet hits the water and keeps rolling -- deeper and deeper. Water starts to cover the trunk in which Ray is trapped. INT. CAR TRUNK -- CONTINUOUS As water begins to leak rapidly into the trunk: RAY: I think they're getting the car washed again. (gagging) I don't think they use fresh water at this place. But they sure are using a lot. (realizes) Too much. Much too much! Fraser! INT. RAY'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS There is a sudden surge of static as the radio shorts out. Francesca peals around a corner and arrives at the scene. EXT. LAKESHORE -- CONTINUOUS Fraser and Francesca leap out of the car. Nothing can be seen -- the Comet is completely submerged, with no sign Of it ever being there. FRANCESCA: We've got the wrong place But Fraser grabs a jack from the trunk. FRASER: No we don't. He rushes down to the water's edge. FRASER : (calling back) Car keys. FRANCESCA: Oh geez, they're in my purse. As Fraser pulls off his shoes and jacket, Francesca begins to frantically search her cluttered purse with no success. Fraser pulls a small flashlight out of his pouch. FRASER: Where's the escargot? FRANCESCA: You think he'll be hungry? She hands him the escargot wrapped in a ziplock plastic bag. He empties the bag, puts the little flashlight inside and seals it. As she continues to search for the keys, Fraser can wait no longer. He dives into the murky, icy waters. EXT. UNDER WATER -- MOMENTS LATER Fraser swims downs searching, searching. But even with the flashlight, the visibility is poor. He can't find anything EXT. LAKESHORE --MOMENTS LATER Francesca still has had no luck finding the keys, and is now frantically damping her purse out on the sand. Fraser surfaces about thirty yards out, takes a deep breath and dives back down. OMITTED OMITTED EXT. UNDER WATER -- MOMENTS LATER Fraser finally finds the car. He takes the jack and shoves it under the hood of the trunk, using it as a lever to pry the trunk open. The trunk pops open, revealing Ray. EXT. WATER FRONT -- MOMENTS LATER Francesca is getting really scared. Finally, Fraser breaks the surface, towing Ray behind him, spitting and coughing. Fraser lays Ray down on the ground. RAY: Fraser! FRASER: Yes, Ray. RAY: That wasn't a car wash. FRASER: No, Ray. (to Francesca) We need a blanket. FRANCESCA: I only have my good one. RAY: Get the blanket! FRANCESCA: (moving off) Fine, fine. Ray slowly and unsteadily stands. Fraser helps him up the slope to his car. Francesca meets him with the blanket and Ray grabs it and climbs in the driver's side of the car. He's pissed. FRANCESCA : Where are we going? RAY: You're going home. (to Fraser) Did you see who it was? FRASER: No. They took off before we arrived. RAY: Well we know it's one of them. I say we go back to the dealership and arrest the whole damn bunch. FRASER: Ray, that would be an injustice. AS they scream off: RAY: Injustice? You want to see Injustice! Look at this suit! FRANCESCA: Look at my blanket. RAY: Shut up! The car squeals around a corner and disappears OMITTED OMITTED INT. TEX AND TAMMY'S OFFICE -- NIGHT Tammy, in a rush to clear out, is removing some bundles of cash from the safe and tossing them into a briefcase. TEX (O.S.): (looking for her) Tammy? Where are the keys to the Mustang ... ? As he pushes open the door, Tammy ignores him, continuing with her packing. TEX: (seeing her, surprised) Tammy ... ? TAMMY: (fed up) Get 'em yourself. TEX: Hey, hey, put that back. What dya think you're doing? TAMMY: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm taking everything you own and I'm leaving you, you jerk. TEX: Why? TAMMY: Because I've been selling stolen cars. TEX: Don't lie to me. There's another man isn't there? TAMMY: Good God, there's been dozens of them, where have you been?? Tex pulls his ornate six shooter off its wall mounting and cocks it. TEX: Forget it, baby. You can break my heart, but you're not taking my money. TAMMY: You haven't got the guts. As Tex waivers, Ray bursts into the room, his gun drawn, followed by Fraser. RAY: Okay -- Drop it!! Tammy immediately turns to Ray and Fraser, all helpless innocence. TAMMY: Thank-God you're here! He's gone crazy, he's gonna kill me! RAY: Put the gun down, Tex. You're under arrest. TEX: She's stealing my money! RAY: Just put the gun down! FRASER: Ray ... he didn't do it. RAY: He's the one with the gun. FRASER: Yes, but she's the one with algae on her shoes. Tammy reacts, caught. Ray quickly changes targets. RAY: Freeze! FRASER: But she couldn't have acted alone. GARY (0. S.): Freeze! RAY: (to Fraser) Gary? FRASER (to Ray) Gary. Ray and Fraser look behind: Gary is standing there with his "Salesman of the month" plaques in one hand and an automatic in the other. GARY: Hands in the air TAMMY: Gary, darling, Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em all! TEX: I don't believe this. You're leaving me for a salesman! TAMMY: (to Gary) Shoot him first. GARY: No shooting, Tammy. We just tie them up and fly out of here like we planned. TAMMY: (disgusted) Good God, you're as big a coward as he is. Never mind, I'll just give your ticket to someone else. Tammy pulls a hand-gun out of her brief case before snapping it shut, and aims the gun at Gary. As she squeezes the trigger, Fraser leaps on Gary knocking him to the ground just as the bullet whizzes overhead. Simultaneously, Ray and Tex dive for their weapons on the desk, and a scramble ensues, allowing Tammy the extra seconds she needs to dash out the door and escape. Fraser checks out Gary. GARY: (distraught) I chipped my plaques. FRASER: Just a superficial wound. (to Tex) Please keep an eye on him until the police arrive. TEX: Sure thing. Fraser runs out the door. Tex kicks Gary below frame. GARY (O. S .): Ow! ! EXT. REAR OF USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Tammy has hopped into a car and speeds off, dirt flying into Ray's face as he makes pursuit. He looks for his car. RAY'S POV -- HIS CAR IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LOT No-way he can get to it without losing Tammy. He hops into another car, looks around desperately, finds the keys under the visor and starts her up. It lurches forward awkwardly. EXT. FRONT OF USED CAR LOT -- CONTINUOUS Tammy's car speeds around the building, heading for the exit. Suddenly, Fraser leaps into frame, blocking her exit. TAMMY: You're testing the wrong person, Billy Bob. She guns it right at him. Closer. Faster. Closer. Fraser doesn't blink and neither does she. Now it's only yards from killing him ... Ray's car whips around the other side of the building and directly between Fraser and the oncoming vehicle. Tammy's car slams into the side of Ray's Tammy's car horn goes off and doesn't stop. ON TAMMY -- unconscious against her steering wheel. Ray hops out of his car and arrives at Fraser who is already tending to Tammy. Fraser pulls her off of the steering wheel and checks her pulse. RAY: Dead? TAMMY: (eyes closed) I hate men. FRASER: (to Ray) No, just disappointed. CLOSE ON HER WRISTS Ray cuffs her to the steering wheel then turns to Fraser. RAY: What is wrong with you?! FRASER: Pardon me? RAY: What the hell is wrong with you?! She was ready to kill you in there. Why did you figure she wouldn't flatten you out here? FRASER: Oh, I knew she was prepared to kill me. RAY: So why did you just stand there?! FRASER: I heard you coming. I had to keep her attention fixed on me so that you'd be able to intervene. RAY: But what if I didn't? FRASER: I knew you would take the car parked beside hers, and the Plymouth accelerates two seconds faster over the quarter mile than her car. RAY: I was driving a Chevy! FRASER: (looks) Chevy? Really? Next time you should really tell me. As Fraser walks toward the building and Ray follows in a fury: RAY: Tell you what?! FRASER: I mean, if you're going to change plans like that. I was standing in front of a car, Ray. RAY: Two cars are parked there! You're telling me I took the wrong one?! FRASER: No need to apologize, Ray, it's already forgotten. And they're gone into the building. INT. RAY'S CAR -- EVENING Ray drives. Fraser looks up at the passing houses. RAY: This is crazy. I'm a cop. I just did my job. Why am I being punished? FRASER: You did wreck his car, Ray. RAY: I wrecked his car?! I was trying to save his car! FRASER: Be that as it may, you were the reason they drove it into the lake. RAY: They were trying to kill me! FRASER: Exactly.(looking up) This is the place Ray slams on the brakes. Ray cranes his neck to look in the back seat. REVEAL LENNY He sits in the back seat, a pile of pizzas in his lap, smiling with embarrassment. Ray sighs and reaches back for a pizza. RAY: Okay, let's have it. But Lenny doesn't hand him anything. LENNY: (reading from a receipt)This one's for Fraser. 142 Main. RAY: 142 Main? ! That's my house! LENNY: (still reading)Anchovy, pepperoni and ... oysters? FRASER: (nervous)Perhaps you could take this one for me, Ray. She is your sister. RAY: You did wreck her blanket, Fraser. FRASER: I was trying to help you. RAY: Exactly As Fraser reluctantly accepts the pizza from Lenny, we: FADE OUT:
